Thursday, January 31, 2008

Baby Blogger

So for some reason, our baby is fascinated by gadgets. Laptops, computers, cell phones, cameras, you name it! If Zoe sees one, she wants it. I don't know how this happened! What I do know is that it was getting hard for me to blog or be on the computer at all around her because she would reach for the keyboard and cause general havoc. So, we got her a "Laugh-top". The age for it 3-7*, but she seems to be doing just fine. She likes pressing the keys and hearing the music and voices.

Baby Blogger

I gave it to her this afternoon to play with and she squealed with delight (and got right to work). Cutest thing I've ever seen and I've got to say it makes me beam to see her on a computer having a good time.

* Funny thing is, I asked Daniel to get it out of it's packaging last night because I knew I wouldn't have the patience for all the tape and stuff they use to keep it secure in the box. He opens it up, turns it on and the computer prompts him to press the letter "V". My very smart husband pushes a random letter that was not "V". Mr. Gadget man didn't get it at first. He says he thought the "V" was a arrow pointing down. After some teasing, I told him: "You know I have to blog this, right?"

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

It's Not What it Sounds Like

Last night I spent many hours writhing, and moaning in bed.

This afternoon I screwed around for twenty minutes trying to put batteries in a toy to make it vibrate. When I finally got the new batteries in, the toy still didn't work and I had to play the old fashioned way.

Both of these are very, very true. And I'm not in the least bit embarrassed to do a post about either of them.

Last night I spent many hours writhing, and moaning in bed... with stomach problems. I don't know why this happens to me all the time and I really don't get why it happened last night - almost seconds after we'd finished a lovely dinner of salmon with spinach salad. What I do know is the pain is enough to make me want heavy sedatives. Even today I'm still not feeling quite up to par and my stomach feels like it's burning.

Of course, that didn't stop me from trying to replace the batteries in the vibrating toy - a lime green puppy that is supposed to vibrate and move across the floor when you push it's button. It was one of Zoe's first toys and we wore the battery down within a week. After twenty minutes of screwing around (literally, with the two tiniest little screws, ever!) I got the old batteries out and the new in, only to discover that it STILL didn't work. WTF, man!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Nothing*

I use the word nothing, a lot. Except, ever since I was a little kid, "nothing" usually means "something".

Like when I was a toddler and had stolen some candy at the grocery store - except I don't think I was really trying to steal so much as help myself to the "All you can eat extravaganza!" available to me. My mom asked me what I had in my hands and I said, "Nuffing." Well, my mom knew this wasn't true and she made me tell the checkout lady what I had. I told her, and she thought I was so cute; I got to keep my spoils.

Growing up, I used "nothing" almost every single day:

"What happened at school today?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing? All day, nothing happened?"
"Yep. Nothing."

Truth be told, tons had happened. I'd undoubtedly had lots of little something’s happen through out my day. Read: my high school years were filled with drama and angst over BOYS and friends (but mostly BOYS). There was always a ton going on that I never wanted to talk about because no one could possibly understand the plight I was going through day after day. Oh, pitiful, teenaged Keely.

Fast-forward to me at age 31 and I still use "nothing" all the time with our friends and family:

"So, what have you (guys) been up to?
"Nothing." or "Nothing much."

It's not that I'm hiding a big secret or trying to avoid conversation so I can go brood in my bedroom. Sometimes I feel like the things that go on in my everyday life aren't interesting enough to share in conversation or on this blog. Like, if something major - being proposed to, planning a wedding, vacations, trying to conceive, rehearsing for a play, being pregnant, moving to a new house, etc - isn't going on that I'll just bore friends, family and blog readers to death with the mundane.

Not that my life is mundane. It's not. As far as I'm concerned, a ton is happening in my life. But if we run into friends at a restaurant, do they really want to hear all of it? I can see it all now:

"So, what's been going on with you guys?"

"Well! Let me tell you! I've been trying to figure out how to balance being a wife, mother and human being. I'm still learning how to be a SAHM (which I love) and take care of my own needs. Just recently I mastered taking a shower every single day (before 10am) and I'm actually getting dressed in things besides sweats! I even find time to do my hair and makeup occasionally! I've been obsessively counting points for Weight Watchers and simultaneously trying to make more of an effort in the kitchen. The first week I lost 10 pounds, but this last weigh in all I'd lost was inches (but no gain). I have to keep reminding myself that this is a marathon not a race, and that's really hard for me because I've always struggled with my appearance. We just had an exercise bike delivered this afternoon and I'm really excited to get it built. I plan to exercise at least every other day and I'm looking forward to being a healthier person. I've decided I'm not doing theatre any more, so I'm trying to find other creative outlets (like my photography and blogging) to fill that void. Oh, you didn't know I have a blog? Yes, I've actually been blogging for almost five years and decided at the beginning of 2008 that I was going to blog every day for the next year. So far I haven't missed a day. Daniel and I don't get out as much as we did before Zoe was born, but we've been watching a ton of movies on Netflix and I've discovered how much I like reading again. I feel like I've really grown as a person in the past couple years and I'm enjoying that immensely."

Er. Yeah. Sometimes it's just easier to say "nothing". Especially when we're talking to people who are at different times in their lives. We worry we'll just bore them with what it's like to get to know our little girls personality, or how we're getting used to our new life as parents. We're on a different path than so many of our friends. Not to say that our path isn't exciting too, it is. It's just a different kind of exciting. The catch is, by trying NOT to bore people I think we come across as being... boring. Like we're just a happy couple with a baby with no outside interests. Meh. Nothing sucks.

* There's nothing I hate more than nothing. Nothing keeps me up at night. I toss and turn over nothing. Nothing could cause a great big fight. - Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians

Monday, January 28, 2008

Little Stumbles

Today is one of those days where I just want to be curled up on the sofa, reading a book, and taking care of myself. For the most part, that's exactly what I've been doing - in between naps. Maybe it's the weather or just this funk I've been in - but I'm not feeling completely like myself and that stumble I took twenty minutes ago isn't helping matters. Too often I find myself forgetting to take it easy and move slow. These sinus headaches and my vertigo must be someones way of telling me to slow down and quit trying to do so much at once. Forget the laundry that needs to be put away and the shower that needs to be cleaned. Forget the errands you thought you should do and yes, even forget trying to think of something meaningful to post to your blog. Daniel is picking up Zoe this afternoon because I'm thinking it's not such a good idea to be driving (especially with such precious cargo) and I'm going to spend the rest of this not so great day relaxing with my husband and daughter.

Happy Monday everyone... I'm already ready for the weekend.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Crockpot Challenge* - Jambalaya!

Crockpot Challenge: Jambalaya


1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch cubes
1/2 pound andouille sausage, diced (I chose to slice instead of dice)
1 (28-ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 medium onion, chopped
1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1 cup reduced-sodium chicken broth
1/4 cup white wine
1 tsp chopped garlic
2 teaspoons dried oregano
2 teaspoons Cajun or Creole seasoning
1 teaspoon hot sauce
2 bay leaves
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1 pound cooked shrimp
2 cups cooked rice

- Combine chicken, sausage, tomatoes, onion, green pepper, chicken broth and white wine.
- Stir in oregano, Cajun seasoning, hot sauce, bay leaves, thyme and garlic.
- Cover, and cook on LOW for 7 hours or on HIGH for 3 hours.
- 30 to 45 minutes prior to serving, stir in the shrimp.
- Discard bay leaves.
- Spoon mixture over cooked rice- or stir in the cooked rice 15 minutes prior to serving so the flavor is absorbed.

Dinner for Two


I've got to tell you, I was freaking out with this one. I just could not believe that I wasn't supposed to cook the chicken, but someone told me that was the norm (thanks, for that!). I probably wasn't supposed to cook the sausage either, but I just didn't see how I could possibly slice the links otherwise. I actually combined two recipes to make this and then added my own touches - like the wine (I don't know why I always feel the need to add alcohol) and the garlic. Both recipes said to use frozen, cooked shrimp but I didn't see why I shouldn't just buy it fresh from the case. One recipe said to spoon the Jambalaya over the rice, the other said to mix the rice in. Mine had so much liquid I was sure it was going to be horrible. I've had some awesome Jambalaya and this just wasn't turning out like I'd wanted. I threatened to throw it out and have us eat something else, but Daniel insisted we try it. Nothing like insecurity in the kitchen! Lucky for me I have a brave husband who is willing to taste test just about anything (except green beans, he's just not a fan).

Anyway. He loved it (had seconds) and I was pleasantly surprised. It's hearty and spicy (but I added even more hot sauce to mine) and perfect for this weird weather we've been having. Next time I think I'll go with my gut and not cut the chicken - the long cook time resulted in the chicken shredding and becoming practically invisible. I like bulk to my chicken! Otherwise, I'd totally do this again. This meal was 9 points.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

About Last Night

It's interesting how just one week of new eating habits changes you. Last night I decided I wanted to splurge on something ridiculous to eat. I'd used only 13.5 of my daily 31 points and hadn't used any of my points allowance for the week (35) so I went online to check what the points were for some Carl's Jr.

One $6 Jalapeno Burger and medium fries = 36 points!

Maybe it was the mood I was in, or that I'd been bad and not had a midday snack like I've been doing, but I thought my hunger deserved those 36 points. Screw the nice salmon and salad or the whole wheat pasta we'd purchased! Forget the red bell peppers and hummus! I wanted a greasy, fattening cheeseburger with "Santa Fe" sauce and jalapenos, dammit!

Fast forward to thirty anti-climactic minutes later and I was regretting my choice. My meal left me feeling weighted down and lethargic. I felt like I had a lump in my stomach. I did not feel satisfied, I felt overly full and sloppy - like I was what I just ate. I won't be rushing to do that again. Why spend all those points on a less than stellar meal when I can eat something much better for me, (that tastes better) at a quarter of the points?

You know, it does put it all in perspective for me though.To think, all those previous times where I've splurged! If I looked at say, the holidays or a weekend with Daniel going out to breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner... I was probably getting at least three times the calories I should have been getting. For a society that is so obsessed with body image, we (and by we, I mean me) sure do know how to eat like gluttons.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Shop Talk*

It's no Whole Foods ( we don't have one here), but I'm sort of a fan of Trader Joe's. I like the atmosphere, the organic produce, the healthy & quick meals and the smaller portions. A trip to Von's for the week can easily cost us a hundred bucks, but we got out of TJ's with 4 meals and some snacks for half that. Not bad at all. Now, if we can just avoid Target this weekend we'll be saving some real money.

* - I know, this is not exciting by any means. I'm phoning this one in and right now I am completely OK with that. I've got a lot on my mind and at the moment putting it all into words just sounds exhausting**. Ever have one of those days? What I really want/need is a vacation.

** - Everything is fine - better than fine.... really.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Mean People Suck

Today was one of those days where I wished I wasn't as nice as I am. While I am continuously amazed at the kindness of others, I am also frequently reminded that people can be so rude and stupid. I keep telling myself that if I'm good to people that maybe they'll learn and change their ways but sometimes what I really want to do is call people on their crap, point out their wrong doings, give them a talking to and if all that fails....

This one just cracks me up

Give them a look that says "Shame on you." or "I just really don't like you."

But I rarely do that. Instead, I just smile and move on and ignore that voice in my head that tells me to kick the rude/stupid person in the shins.

Happy Girl


I hope you're all having a lovely day. For the most part, I have no complaints. Zoe and I met Daniel for lunch and then spent a couple hours at Borders admiring the books and music while we people watched. I looking forward to Daniel coming home with sushi from my new favorite restaurant and the three of us getting to relax and spend time as a family.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Dear Zoe,

Today you are eight months old and OH. MY. GOODNESS! You are the sweetest little thing in my world! Every month that goes by I love you more and more, but that hardly seems possible because I loved you before I set eyes on you.

Starlet

Speaking of eyes... I'm not sure who's eyes you have, or who you look more like for that matter. Sometimes I swear you are a mini version of me and then you'll get that wide-eyed interested look, or yawn, or smile and I see your daddy. I think maybe, you are the perfect combination of us both. What I know for sure is that you are beautiful and I must be somewhat good looking if I helped make you. But lets not spend too much talking about your looks; there are so many other wonderful and exciting things about you!

Go Spurs Go!

I think your eighth month of life was where you found some independence. You're pulling yourself up to the sitting position now instead of just doing those little crunches (which were super cute) and most of the time you try to skip sitting all together and spring straight up to standing. You've got some seriously strong legs and you love to stand on them. You lean on the sofa and sometimes I let go of you to see how you do on your own. Last week you fell back and this did not make you happy at all. Truth is, it made me want to cry seeing you so upset but I also know that you need to fall so you can learn to stand. It's all part of the learning process. What I can promise you is this: I will always do the best I can to lift you up and help you move on but I will also stand back and let you thrive like I know you will. It may not always be easy for me to know which to do when, but we'll learn together. OK? You're starting to like tummy time more, and it sure does look like you want to crawl. You lift your head up so high, move your arms, and wiggle your legs.... you just haven't gotten your tummy off the ground yet. The other day you were so determined to get to the toy I had in front of you, but you ended up scooting backwards. Needless to say, this ticked you off. It's all right, baby. You're doing things your way, at your own pace. Soon you'll be racing around this house and I won't be able to keep up with you.

Supermodel Zoe

One of your Daddy's and my favorite things to do is watch you play. It is so cool to sit and watch you pick up your toys and examine them like you're trying to figure out how they work. I especially like it when you "talk" to your toys. Right this moment I think you might be telling your caterpillar a story. You've been experimenting with all the sounds you can make and we're hearing the beginnings of words. You definitely say Daddy and you're either saying Nana or Nigh-Nigh. I've always been really bad about figuring out what kids are trying to tell me, but I'm hoping I'll understand your language since you're mine.

Slightly Bored

What else? You love your food. We're now feeding you breakfast, lunch and dinner in your high chair and I think it might be your favorite thing in the entire world. You enjoy carrots, sweet potatoes, peas, apples, pears, plums, cereal and yogurt. We still can't seem to shovel it in fast enough to your liking. This afternoon I got distracted while feeding you and when I looked up you were leaning all the way forward with your mouth wide open - when I gave you the bite you were waiting for you squealed with delight. Unfortunately, almost every meal ends with a little bit of yelling and crying at the disappointment that it's over. I know. Sometimes I wish meals could last forever too.

Flower Child

We're completely done breast-feeding now. We had a good run, but between those two teeth you've got and my needing to take a medication that wasn't safe for you - our time was up. I'm not going to lie: it's sort of nice not having to pump, or wear breast pads, or worry about leaking if I hold you too close. Also, I'm glad to be wearing under wire bras again... but never mind. This is about you.

Zoe

My favorite things about the last month:

Your first Christmas. Welcoming the New Year with you. Seeing more of your personality come out. Watching you enjoy your meals. Seeing you flirt and smile at strangers... and also when you just give people that deadpan look of yours. Getting to take your picture: you're my little model the way you interact with my camera! How you like it when we surprise you or act like we're going to eat you. The way you reach out for what you want (bottle, binkie, dog, dad, me, toy, etc.) and grab it. Watching Baby Einstein with you and seeing you truly engaged in all the colors and activity. Reading books with you. Giving you baths. Singing your favorite songs (ABC's, If You're Happy & You Know It) and how you lean forward and smile with recognition. Hearing people say what a sweet, smart baby you are.

You are, Zoe. You are sweet, smart, happy and delightful. You fill our days with joy and I am so glad that I get to be your mommy. I love you.

She thinks I'm funny

And since it's been so long....

11. Dr. Lewis
Bright white hair and thick black glasses - like the grandpa in ‘Sixteen Candles’. When you asked me if I was ready for my Cesarean section: “Only if you’re not too tired.”

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Lazy Time

I have less than an hour until I need to go get Zoe from Cheryl's and I should be doing something productive with that time, but all I can do is just lay here. I'm blogging on my iPhone with Max at my side and Bailey sitting on my shoulder like a parrot instead of a twenty-five pound dog. My life, is good. I'm feeling better about myself just by making the decision to change my eating habits. I dare say, I have a swing in my step - I feel lighter. It's almost like the weight of feeling lost and helpless in regards to my body was as much as the actual pounds. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I can't get my words around what I'm trying to say. Lately, I feel all tongue tied and jumbled. Bah.

I'm in a strange mood after reading about Heath Ledger. What a waste of talent and life! What a loss for his daughter, friends and family. It makes me sick thinking about it.

Food for thought:

Kurt Vonnegut said: "I am a humanist, which means, in part, that I have tried to behave decently without any expectation of rewards or punishments after I'm dead."

I'm a Vonnegut fan, but I think for me my dithers with this quote are that I want how I behave in this life to have a positive impact on how I am remembered and how my life affects those I leave behind.

OK. It's time to get ready to pick up the monkey. I'm going to grab a "WTF snack" for the drive. You were all right, they're actually somewhat satisfying when you need a little something.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Monday Weigh In

The first few days of "the marathon" have been good. Setting goals is important for me. This is the first time in a long time I've really taken changing my eating habits so seriously. I'm not counting when I monitored my carbs for the gestational diabetes because my main motivation was Zoe's well being. Now I'm doing it for me and I'm taking the lessons I learned from my pregnancy and applying them to now. It is an eye opener to read on the Weight Watchers site that I am obese. I want to lead a healthier life. I want to feel energized and in shape. I'm going to use this blog as a tool to help me accomplish that.

So here goes: Every Sunday night Daniel is going to take a picture of me to log this process in pics. This is the first one:

Weight Watcher Mania

Weigh In : 240 lbs (-10lbs from Friday - it must have been water weight*)
Measurements: 48-41-50

I'll be posting a pic (and the info) every Monday on my flickr and going forward, I'll do a blog post about it on the first Monday of the month.

Some observations:

1. It's been a long time since I've had so much water.
2. I pee as frequently as I did when I was in my third trimester.
3. Less food is more satisfying than I thought, especially if I eat slower.
4. I can't believe (given my health) that I'm only now taking a woman's multi vitamin other than the prenatals I took for Zoe.
5. Using Zoe as my exercise equipment is fun - for both of us.
6. I'm actually excited for the exercise bike to arrive (a week from tomorrow).
7. Having a supportive husband (and friends) makes all the difference.
8. Disclosing my weight is actually sort of freeing.
9. I am very excited to go down sizes and shop for new clothes. Possibly too excited for my own good.
10 Tiniest Snack EVER:

WTF, Weight Watchers

WTF, Weight Watchers.


* - I weighed myself with the same amount of clothes (t-shirt & sweats, no shoes) each time at roughly the same time of day. Since this is such a big loss for just three days, I'm thinking I might just take it in stride and count 240 as my start weight. What do you think? I want this first weigh in to be a little victory, but is it?

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Breakin' it in

Crockpot Challenge Badge


Well, today is the first installment of The Crock pot Challenge! I made Chili!

I got up at 9 this morning (have I mentioned how awesome Zoe is with her late mornings?) and got going. Of course, I had to actually take the crock pot out of the box first. Therein I found a lovely wedding card... for someone else: apparently, the bride and groom got multiple crock pots! Either that, or they were as afraid to use it as I had been. Too bad they weren't notified of our little challenge group - it would have offered them recipes and support from like minded people. Too bad, so sad. Well, not really.

Any who... After Daniel washed the new pot for me, I got to work chopping onions and browning meat. Onion chopping took less than a minute (oh, food processor how I love thee). Meat browning took ten minutes. I threw both in the pot, added the other ingredients, set it and then had a nice chat with my Dad on the phone. I decided I wanted to add some beer even though the recipe I used doesn't call for it and I knew he'd know what to do. Just before I pressed call on my phone, I asked Daniel to get me a beer from the garage. Asking for a beer at ten in the morning on a Sunday made my day except Daniel knew it was for the chili and not me, so it wasn't as fun as I had hoped it would be. Dad says the Amstel Light I was planning on using doesn't have enough flavor to cook with so we got a darker beer. He also suggested that I add it when I add the beans, so I took his advice and did that. So far, I think crock pot cooking is the easiest thing ever.

The recipe:

2 lb lean (at least 80% - I used 85%) ground beef
1 large onion, chopped (1 cup) - I used a yellow onion and wish I'd used a red
2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
1 can (28 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained - I used the kind that had green chile in it
1 can (15 oz) tomato sauce
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 can (15 to 16 oz) kidney or pinto beans, rinsed & drained (I opted to double this and used Ranch Style Beans instead - did not drain)
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon, 1 cup of beer, (I used Newcastle) A few shakes of Tapatio Hot Sauce ***
Shredded Cheddar cheese, if desired (this makes chili for me)

Crockpot Challenge


1. Cook beef over medium heat 8-10 minutes, until brown: drain.
2. In 3 1/2 - 6 quart slow cooker, mix beef and remaining ingredients, except beans and cheese
3. Cover and cook on LOW heat setting 6-8 hours or on HIGH heat setting 3-4 hours.
4. Stir in beans. Increase heat setting to HIGH. Cover and cook 15 to 20 minutes or until slightly thickened. Sprinkle with cheese (I added a dollop of sour cream just for kicks).

*** I added more ingredients to this recipe to see what it's like to stray from following directions. It was kind of fun. I recommend it.

Slow Cooker Chili


Turned out pretty darn good! It had just a hint of sweetness that I wasn't crazy about, but I think that was due to to yellow onion. The husband liked it enough to have seconds though, and we are SO having leftovers tomorrow night. Inaugural use of the crock pot was a success!

Check out our flickr group for other participants and recipes and if you're up to the challenge and fun: join!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

I don't believe I'm about to disclose this:

Here goes nothing: I weigh 250 pounds. *

I thought in the interest of starting fresh with this new way of eating and losing weight, I should just put that out there for the world and me to see. The big motivation will be getting to update that number as my weight goes down. Because it has to go down. Pre-pregnancy I weighed 280, I went down to 260 while I was pregnant because I was being so careful with my carb intake and once Zoe was born I almost instantly lost the other 10. Since then I've been at a stand still mainly because I was not putting any effort into losing. I got lazy and went nuts when I was allowed to have pasta and rice and bread again. So there you go.

Five years ago, (when I met Daniel) I weighed 180 pounds. I was on my feet for most of my day working at Pier One and I did heavy lifting every single week taking in the trucks of merchandise. I ate smaller amounts back then because I was too busy to sit down for a big meal. When I got injured and later diagnosed with RSD, I got depressed and lazy. I ate to fill my time. Add all the medications (including steroids) and inactivity and I gained... and gained. I lost some weight before our wedding, but it was really hard. I did it on my own and I wouldn't say I did it the healthy way. Losing weight has always been a struggle with me. When we went to our fertility specialist we found out I have PCOS, which explains a lot. I'm lucky and do not have a lot of the symptoms, but I do have the issue with my periods, ovulating, ovarian cysts, insulin resistance and obesity. I have an uphill battle to get to a healthy weight, but I'm going to do it.

Daniel is being so supportive. He keeps telling me this is a "marathon, not a race." He is absolutely right and yet, I wish it could be a race. I wish I could just lose all this weight and feel good about my body again. In high school I had problems with food : I binged and purged and made myself sick and then I just stopped myself because I was scared. I weighed 120 pounds back then - I was half of me. That freaks me out. For my height and age, my max should be 144 pounds. Right now, that seems so far away!

"This is a marathon, not a race." I can do this, but it is SO not going to be easy.

* Apparently, I don't look like I weigh that much, but trust me I do. We just bought a scale for the house and the scale does not lie. I guess I hide it well with the clothes I wear and the angles I take my pics but there you go: 250. I wear a size 18/20 in shirts because my boobs are so darn big, but my waist is fairly small considering. I can fit in size 16 pants, but my stomach is a hell of a lot happier if I go up a size to give me room to breathe. I have a really hard time shopping in the "Women's" department because I'm not big everywhere. Clothes tend to look like bags on my shape if they don't have tie backs. Buttons on shirts are my worst enemy because they pop at the chest. Having big boobs is a curse (although Daniel has no complaints).

Monday I'll take my measurements when I do my weigh in so I can track that do.

Just so you know, I've read this post three times and considered deleting and just posting a pic of the monkey. Posting my weight for everyone to see is a huge deal for me. Gah!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Committed

First off, today is my 5 year anniversary with Daniel. Five years ago today he took me on our first official date (actually, I drove). We had brunch at Buck Owen's Crystal Palace* and then we went and saw Arsenic and Old Lace at BCT. Who knew we'd end up married (2 and a half years!) and parents five years later? Well, I knew he was special right away. I also knew that I felt a strong connection to him and that he was going to change my life. Yes, I knew that on the first date. No, I didn't imagine marriage or children that day, but I did know that he was someone I could see myself being friends with for a very long time.

Happy Anniversary, honey. You're one of the best things that ever happened to me and it keeps getting better as time goes by. I love you.

Secondly, thanks for the great comments yesterday. Obviously, this is something we all deal with at one time or another. I knew this, but it's nice to hear your stories and feel supported. It seems yesterday was my big wake up call that I needed to stop complaining about the way I look - or don't look anymore - and get working on changing things. First, my hairstylist went on and on about how she needed to get in shape (she looks like Barbie, I kid you not). Then she gave me that issue of People where the main story is losing half your body weight. Her customer while my hair was cookin' turns out to be a physical trainer and I listen to her talk shop for 20 minutes. When I go to pick up Zoe at Cheryl's, her stepdaughter and her friend are there getting ready to do Pilates and then go for a jog because they "Really need to get in shape." -never mind that they are both skinny and adorable.

So, I get home and do a little research and when Daniel gets home we talk. He read my post yesterday and he says he'll love me no matter what - that whether I lose or gain he thinks I'm beautiful and sexy and that he'll support me in whatever I want to do. He makes me want to cry a little because he reminds me daily how lucky I am and how loved I am. I really never thought there were guys out there like him, but there are!

Anyway, long story short: I signed up for Weight Watchers. I'm going to do the Flex Plan (so far 3.5 points used today). We're going to spend our anniversary tracking points, buying a scale (we don't own one because they always depressed me), looking at exercise equipment and grocery shopping. Tonight, Zoe is going to Cheryl's while we go to the restaurant Daniel proposed at and a movie and then.... well, never mind. It's going to be a good day.

So this went from being just a mommy blog to helping me document my successes and set backs on this new journey. Wish me luck, I need it.

*Briefly considered having us go for the brunch on Sunday, but that SO is not congruent with changing eating habits.
H-E-Double Hockey Sticks-NO!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Debbie Downer

So I haven't exactly been a ray of sunshine lately. I'm happy, don't get me wrong. How could I not be with Daniel and Zoe in my life? We have so much love in this house and are truly blessed with good friends, family, dog children, etc. I'm just feeling really insecure about my appearance and my capabilities. I lost all my pregnancy weight almost instantly. This would be awesome if I hadn't already been overweight to begin with. Instead, I'm just the same big girl I was before only now my stomach is worse and my boobs are taking over my body. I look at myself in the mirror and I'm disgusted and that is a horrible, sad feeling. It's especially hard given my history with body issues. When Daniel tells me I am beautiful and/or sexy I have a really hard time internally because I just don't feel that way. I worry that someday Zoe is going to look at me and be ashamed of how I look. I worry that Daniel is going to look at me and decide he's not attracted to me anymore. I know both of these thoughts are completely irrational. Daniel loves me for me and saw me at my worse long before we decided to get married - the problem is completely me.

I don't know what I'm going to do about it. We're cooking more at home and that's a start. I'm considering going on my very low carb diet that I did when I had gestational diabetes. I know that Zoe and I are going to get out and do walking in her stroller. I'm considering Weight Watchers.But the truth is, I like food and I eat when I'm bored or sad. It sucks.

And as far as my capabilities go, I know I'm still learning. I'm actually doing a decent job keeping this house in order, Zoe happy and taking time daily to sort out my thoughts and blog. Internally, I've been struggling with who I am now. The show I was supposed to be in opens this weekend. I didn't talk about it here because I was so ashamed and sad, but I had to drop it. I was so sick and tired and then Zoe and Daniel got sick too and I knew doing theatre at this point was not right for any of us, especially me. I have an immune deficiency problem that strikes whenever I get rundown or stressed. I'm sick at least once a month and being in a show only compounds that problem. It was tough before I had Zoe to do shows and now? Well, anyone who has kids knows it's not easy being sick when you have a baby to take care of. Having theatre out of my life feels like a big gaping hole though. I need to fill it with something.

OK. I need to run. I'm dropping Zoe off at Cheryl and going to get my hair cut and colored. The grey hair, roots and mushroom head are doing nothing for my self confidence right now.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

LET THE COOKING BEGIN! (edited***)

So Supa and I got to talking the other day about how we need help with our Crockpot/Slow-cooker recipes. I'm scared to death of my crockpot because of all the tales of recipes gone bad and she's had lots of recipes go bad. Very, very bad. So the Challenge was created.

And Supa made us a badge!!!!

Crockpot Challenge Badge

HERE'S THE SKINNY (BA HA HA!):
One recipe per week
Take a picture
Share the recipe on your blog (provide a link) or under pic
Discuss.
Post on Sundays... if you can

Go on. Join. Invite your friends who are dynamo's* (or not) in the kitchen. Help some mutha's out. Please.

* It has been brought to my attention that some people don't like Crockpot's. If you've got other means to do some slow-cookin', then by all means join the challenge! I'm all about the easy right now and if you can show us other ways to do it, then PLEASE** join. I know I could use all the help I can get.

** But no pressure! Seriously and honestly! It's supposed to be fun AND save my family from eating the same thing all the time. Getting so tired of tuna melts and pasta and take-out food. Gah!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

NERD ALERT!

I would not say that I'm much of a shopper. Sure, there was a time when I wanted to buy lots of new outfits and cute shoes were hard to resist... but now, not so much. Purses are a thing of the past for me - and even then I only had a few purses that were all way less than $100 bucks each that I would use until they were worn away to nothing. At this point I'm all about the diaper bag - I could see myself getting addicted to those, maybe. Shoes? Well, ever since I decided it was best for my physical well being (I'm a klutz and I get bad vertigo - not a good combination) to not wear high heals, I've lost my fascination. I'm all about Keen's and other comfy shoes now. If I can't walk comfortably in my shoes for a couple hours, then forget it.

But that's not to say I don't have other shopping vices.

Like for instance, music. Before I got pregnant with Zoe I was buying multiple CD's or downloads from iTunes weekly. I've missed my music sprees and may need to set myself a budget for it again - maybe one or two new CD's a month?

And DVD's. Daniel and I have a DVD problem that we justified by not having cable*. We cut waaay back by getting Netflix, but we still peruse that section of Target, Borders, Barnes & Noble, Best Buy, etc like the DVD fiends we are.

But our REAL problem is our gadgetry fascination. Since meeting Daniel, I have become just as much a gadget geek (maybe more) as he is. We're an Apple family (still looking for an iBaby t-shirt for the kiddo) through and through.

Fresh roses from the front & back yards

MacBook Pro's, iPods, Nano, iPhone. I squealed with delight when I saw the Leopard promo videos and was most pleased that Daniel got me the software for Christmas this year. And today I had way too much excitement gearing up to the new unveilings at MacWorld Expo. I've since done the software update on my phone and requested Daniel come home for lunch so we could find out about the new stuff together: NERD ALERT!!!! And then I practically drooled over Apple TV. "They had me with the photo features!" Yes, I said that and I'm pretty sure my face was glowing and my eyes were dilated from the euphoria.

And don't even get me started on cameras! I have a list of things I've been resisting getting for some time now.

Sick, sick, gadget obsessed woman. Is there a therapy group I can go to?

* - Thinking we might buckle and get cable. I've been wanting it for the past year now, and with the 2008 election coverage and the Olympic Games in Beijing I feel like we'd really be missing out not having cable. Daniel is still resisting though.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Don't do it.

Dear Stupid Receptionist Girl,

If I walk up to your reception desk and look fairly miserable, please do not tell me that I am wrong and do not have an appointment to see my gynocologist. Do not tell me I must be mistaken and then turn away from me (without saying excuse me) to have a conversation with someone else about something as trivial as what you ate for lunch today. Do not turn back to me and say "What were we doing again?" and "Oh, yes. You're not supposed to be here." Yeah. That might piss me off since I've had a Y.I for the past three days and was on the phone at eight this morning to get an appointment TODAY. Today, because I knew I could not wait another freaking day before I got me some strong, fast acting medication to make me all better. Also, do not act condescending towards me - that REALLY ticks me off. And I could do with out your sarcasm, because you know what? I'm so much better at sarcasm than you!

Thanks. Thanks a lot. You made my day. Truly.

- The lady you called Kelly, three times even though I corrected you twice.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Sunday's are my favorite

We're having a relaxing day:

Grocery shopping and menu planning for the week is done.
Playing with the baby.
Playing with the dog children.

Soon, I'll make some more Apple/Pear Sauce for Zoe and then I'll get to work on the Scallop & Corn Chowder recipe I got from the new cookbook. I'm making some cornbread to go with it and I'm all excited!

We didn't get to use the hot tub last night - the thing takes forever to heat up! We'll give it a go tonight after the monkey is tucked in.

This is what I meant to show you yesterday:

Portrait of a Young Target Shopper

We got a shopping cart/highchair cover at a local baby store so we don't have to carry in the infant seat every time we go to a store with a cart. It's very easy to set up and Zoe loves the thing. It's like a new world has opened up to her! Now she can look around at all the wonderful things Target has to offer! Now she can smile and flirt with all her adoring fans! And when she gets tired, she can even lay down and take a nap:

Pooped Target Shopper

I wish they made these in adult sizes.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

"Best-Laid Plans...

of mice and men often go awry."

Ain't that the truth!

So I have a cute post for you, but flickr is down and it's just not the same without pictures to make it pretty. So.... I'm saving that for tomorrow, because, you know, I now post every day.

Please, carry on with your Saturday and we will too! Zoe is off to Cheryl's in twenty minutes and we're off for dinner, a movie and possibly some hot tubbin' if it heats up and we're not too tired from our wild night on the town. Sometimes, it's the spur of the moment stuff that is the most fun. This from the obsessive planner! I'm making strides in 2008, strides!

x365:

10. Josephine
Opera diva, Actress, Producer. You took me on as a student when I was thirteen and taught me poise, technique and how not to make funny faces when hitting high notes.

Friday, January 11, 2008

TGIF

This has been a week! I am so tired and lazy feeling! Lucky for me, today is Daniel's Friday off so I've had time to actually take a shower and I'll get to relax more today. Him having every other Friday off is the most wonderful thing, truly. At this moment, he's playing his PS3, Zoe is in her Jumperoo, Max is barking at the horses on the TV and Bailey is pacing and freaking out at the gardeners in the back and front yard. Yeah. It's exciting here, folks. I'm flipping through a new cookbook (I love the photos. If there are no photos in a cookbook, I won't even look at it.) and considering making something out of it or breaking in the brand new Crockpot. What sounds good to me though, is not cooking a single thing and just relaxing. We'll see what happens. I tend to have a hard time doing nothing and I do have some Christmas decorations to finally put away. My dad gave me a hard time about it yesterday and suggested I just leave them up until next Christmas. It's still January! It's not unheard of to still have our decorations up! And really, Zoe's first Christmas was so great, I'm having a hard time letting it go. But I did get some new green and red containers to pack it all up in. I love plastic totes that look pretty while storing away my junk important holiday items.

OK, well I should get to that. Thanks for all of you who delurked - apparently it's a week long event so if you missed it yesterday, feel free to comment today. Also, thanks for your help with the photos. I ended up choosing the first one from yesterday (with the yellow bib). I preferred the third one, but thought I should try to highlight her sweet smile and big blue eyes. The last one sort of looked like she was bothered by my incessant picture taking. That might have been why I liked it so much - because she wasn't. She was all too happy to be getting camera time, just like her mama.

9. M.P
My best friend: freshman year. She was ringlet curls, overt sexuality and rebel to my Sandra Dee. I wanted to be her and I think maybe, she wanted to be me.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Delurk!


Aimee is the creator of this awesome, funny graphic.

So, go on - delurk* ! I know I participated in this not that long ago, but I couldn't resist this graphic. Also, I've got nothing** (not even a x365) today. I'm busy trying to snap the most beautiful picture of Zoe ever taken and obsessing over your votes so far. Pretty much, no photo is sweeping all the votes (except maybe the New Years one) so I just don't know. This is where it becomes obvious how obsessive I can be and how ridiculous I am about contests. I mean, really - I'm never going to win anything so why do I bother? Answer= Nuts.

Special shout out to recent delurkers: Jennie, Jaclyn (creator of 30 Something Bloggers) and Bente! Hello, ladies! :)

Oh, and just because I couldn't resist posting a few of the ones I took today:

Zoe's crib


Flower Child


Mama's angel


* Or if you're not really a lurker, say hello!
** Honestly, I've got tons. Seems my head is swimming with things to blog about and I really just don't even know where to begin.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

A Little Help From My Friends, Please:

So I was alerted yesterday that Regis and Kelly are doing this little contest and that I should send in a picture of Zoe. Alrighty. Don't have to tell me more than once! The thing is: I've lost my ability to choose amongst the 100's of photos I've taken of the monkey. I mean, I think she's cute when she poops! And that right there is just one of the things that proves a mom's love is unconditional. Oy.

Which One?

So which one? You tell me. I only have until 5PM ET on Friday before the contest is over. Oh, and all you other hot mama's with the beautiful babies should enter, too!* Surely, one of our baby's should win! I mean, come on! ;)

Oh, and here's my x365:

8. A.A.B
We've had some rough patches, but our friendship persevered. For that I’m grateful. I’ve no doubt we‘ll always be in each other’s lives. Your strength, drive, talent and determination amaze me.

* - Just so you know: The rules say your baby must be between 6 and 48 months old to be eligible. If this were not the case I SO would have linked to Kate, Victoria, Ali, etc. Clearly, this contest doesn't know what it's missing.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Art Imitates (Past) Life

So, last night Daniel and I finally sat down and watched Waitress. Months ago, we saw the preview and complained about how it would never come to Bakersfield. The preview was the right amount of quirky about an unhappy waitress in a bad marriage that accidentally gets pregnant. It looked funny and we like Nathan Fillion since his Firefly and Serenity days (we're geeks like that) so when it came out on video a couple months ago we bought it. And then I kept putting off having us watch it. Something inside me told me no, don't do it.

I'm glad we finally watched it. Adrienne Shelly was a brilliant writer. The dialogue in this movie was quick and honest. The characters were real and quirky. You could tell through her direction that she loved this world she'd created and the actors were behind her vision for this movie. I'm saddened that she is no longer here to keep making movies through her perspective.

That all said: I had a hard time last night. Keri Russell's character easily could have been me ten years ago. My biggest fear back then was that I'd get pregnant and never be able to leave my ex. All of that came back to me full force while I sat on my couch next to Daniel and Zoe. Had I not gotten out when I did, my entire world could be very similar to the one on our television. Jeremy Sisto's character was so much like my ex - he scared me. The incessant honking, his tone of voice, the way he treated Russell like a child, the ultimatums and countdowns, even how he pushed her. I sat through his scenes with a knot in my stomach. I felt physically ill. There was a scene towards the end that had me shaking inside. I felt the fear and shame I haven't felt in years. It was horrible. I don't know when I'll be able to watch it again.

Sometimes I think I've forgotten that part of my life. I think it's all behind me and I'm not afraid anymore. And then I see a movie like this and it pulls me down. I remember how degraded, useless, ugly, stupid I felt. I remember every unkind word, every push, grip and scream. I remember the fear and the feeling that I was trapped and no one could help me. It's horrible. I wonder how long that will last. Will those years always come back at me?

My saving grace last night was Daniel and Zoe. Daniel knew I was upset. He took Zoe and me in his arms and I got to hold them close. This is my life now. I'll never go through that again. Zoe will know that that life is unacceptable. She'll find someone who loves and cherishes her as much as her father and I do each other. Maybe someday we'll watch Waitress with her and talk to her about what I went through to become who I am now. Maybe she'll learn from my mistakes. I always considered keeping that chapter of my life from my children and now I think that is the wrong thing to do. Hmmm.

Well. I guess that brings me to my x365:

7. Assface
I married you when I was nineteen and naive. You were insecure and weak, and took that out on me daily through emotional and physical abuse. You don’t deserve thirty-one words.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Freak out!

Sometimes I wonder if Zoe is getting the short end of the stick. What I mean is, I do not know what I am doing most of the time. I know that breast feeding was good for her, but I beat myself up repeatedly for having to switch to formula because she wasn't gaining any weight after three months. I felt better when I decided to breast feed her when she woke up in the morning, when she started rooting and wanted me to (which wasn't frequently except when she was sick) and then just before she went to bed at night. I was proud that I was able to do this still. And then we stopped doing the morning feedings because it was just quicker and I was worried about my supply. And then slowly, the night time feedings were getting shorter and less frequent. Last night I told Daniel I thought I was done because I thought my supply was gone, but then just before bed I started leaking so now I don't know what the hell I'll do.

And then there is making Zoe's food. I got off to a late start with this. When it was time for solids we went with Earth's Best because of it being organic and what I'd read about it. Truth be told, I liked the name and their website and that it was sold at Whole Foods and places I trusted. At first Zoe gobbled it all up. She was enamoured with all of it! She was happy so we were happy and I was sort of relieved because I'd been so sick I hadn't made her any food yet. And then on her 7 month birthday she decided she didn't like her jarred food anymore. She literally spit out every single bite in protest and inside I was freaking out that my baby hated food and was going to refuse to eat and would never gain weight again. Irrational, yes... totally. So the next day I went and bought sweet potatoes and steamed them and pureed them and she LOVED them. So we made carrots and did the same thing and she loved them even more. Yay!

Last night I attempted to make more sweet potatoes, but I screwed them up and left the water on too long. I burned the boiling water away to nothing and the sweet potatoes smelled smoked. I attempted to puree them anyway to see what would happen, but my food processor is on the fritz and made horrible noises that woke Zoe from her nap and made her cry. This was a huge failure in my eyes. I felt like a horrible mother. How does one screw up steaming vegetables? What was I going to do? It was the end of the world (hello, hormones!). So we went and got a new food processor and then I made some carrots. Deep sigh of relief that my baby was going to be fed and happy and I'm not such a failure after all. Yay!

And then I found out carrots might not be so good for a baby. So I freaked, and did research, and called our pediatrician, and made an internal vow to possibly never give Zoe carrots again. Ever. Because I am a drama queen and so afraid I'm screwing up. But you know what? I'm not. I know this. And I know now that carrots are OK after 6 months and Zoe is not going to have to give them up unless she wants to.

But me? I'm still feeling unsure. I worry about why she isn't crawling yet when other baby's her age are. I know every baby is different and it's not fair to compare, but I feel myself doing it anyway. It's not because I think there is something wrong with her, I worry there is something wrong with what I am doing with her. Not enough tummy time, maybe? Too much time in the Jumperoo? Zoe seems to want to skip crawling and go straight to standing and walking. That's not good, right?

Being a mom is an adventure. I laugh at the people who say it seems boring and how can SAHM's just sit around all day doing nothing and have no drive. My drive is having a safe, happy home for Zoe. I am constantly thinking about what I can do with her to help her growth and development. I work 24 hours a day. I get daily reviews from the monkey. I do not get a raise - ever and sometimes I have a hard time even getting a bathroom break in. It's hard work and the baby care basics classes don't seem like enough sometimes. Sometimes I wish there were a "Mama Hot line" that I could call and talk to other mom's going through some of the same things at the same time as us. Sometimes, I wish Zoe had come out holding on to a "Zoe manual" that would explain everything and tell me exactly what to do to keep her happy and healthy for the next twenty years. But there is no manual or hot line- it's all just getting to know my little girl and realizing that I will make some mistakes along the way. And that is OK. I have to keep reminding myself that Zoe is happy and loves me and that I have an amazing partner to help me raise her.

Deep breath!

OK. For now, I'm putting off my x365. I may post it later tonight, we'll see.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

I'm keeping this one short today, too. My friend* left a couple hours ago and now Daniel, Zoe and I are just having a relaxing Sunday afternoon together. We went grocery shopping and bought tons of fruit and veggies for me to make baby food. Making Zoe's food is going very well as you can see:

Dinner time!

She sure does love her carrots!

I'm looking through cookbooks trying to decide what to cook this week for the adult humans of the house and we're watching one of my favorite movies from my childhood: The Last Starfighter. I love it. I hope you all are enjoying your weekend!

*6. Alison H.
You’re my closest, best girlfriend – my sister. In the past sixteen years we have been through tons together. I can tell you anything. You make me laugh like a maniac.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Date Night

Daniel and I are off to have a date night while Alison and Zoe spend some quality time together. So today, all I have for you is my x365:

5. S.W.
You taught me discipline, focus and an appreciation for what it takes to produce theatre. My freshman year you said I needed to choose between cheerleading and drama. I chose drama.

Friday, January 04, 2008

You asked for it:

Well, a few of you did anyway. ;)

Before, Before and NOW! (last night):

Before, Before, Now

I'm starting to really like getting to see my husband's entire face. He's HAWT! And Zoe had no issues with her daddy's face being nekkid. She didn't even flinch when he got home from work Wednesday; she knows her Daddy! Speaking of, when I was uploading and editing these pics, Zoe was watching and saying, "DA-DA. DADDY!" She's been saying it for a couple weeks now along with lots of other sounds, but today was the first time she actually connected the face with the name. So, I'm counting today as the first time she actually said something. I'm delighted and I know Daniel will be too.

And now for my x365:

4. My Daddy
You're one of my hero's and best friends. I used to tell my friends, "Wait til you meet my dad, he's really funny." It's true. You're also kind, brave and loving.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

First things first:

3. B.D.
You’ve been doing my hair for five years. You’re expensive and never get my hair as dark as I want. I’d break up with you if I didn’t feel so guilty.

Whew. That felt good!

Speaking of hair: My wonderful husband decided Tuesday night that he wanted to see what his face looked like under his mustache and beard, so he shaved it all off. I've got to say, it was a little weird at first. In the almost five years (Jan. 18th) we've been together I have never seen my husbands entire face except in some old pictures. When he got into bed, I made him leave the light on for a bit so I could get used to the "new" man next to me. He wasn't so sure what he thought of it and suggested I put up some pics of him to let y'all decide, but I said no. I think he looks good (and TEN years younger!) but I sort of miss the facial hair. Kind of funny since I never liked it before him. Truth is, he looks good to me no matter what he does. Rawr!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Day 2 of 365

So, one of my new friends through Blog 365 has been working on a project that seems interesting. It's called x365 and it was started by Dan Waber. The concept seems simple enough: Every day for a year, write about a different person who has touched your life. You need to have actually have met them in person and still remember their name. The tough thing is, your age limits the number of words you can use. So, for the next 364 (today I'll do two to keep it simple) days I'll be using 31 words ("no more, no less") to describe 365 people I know or have known. I think it will be a cool thing, of course I have no doubt it will get pretty difficult after say, the first one hundred.

So here goes:

1. Martha D.
You were my Nana. You’ve been gone for over two years and every day I wish you were here to talk to. You would adore your great granddaughter and she you.

2. Edgar D.
You introduced me to Shakespeare and Vonnegut before I was ten. You were funny, charming and a wonderful photographer. I'm pretty sure you're the reason I like tattoos, roses and photography.

P.S:

SUPER ZOE!

We had a mellow New Years Eve, but we did manage to have a bit of fun as well. Zoe is a superhero!

2008 is Gonna be Great

Coincidentally, that was also my theme for my 28th year of life. I kept preempting that birthday with "28's not that great" but my lovely husband (then boyfriend) put a more positive spin on it whenever I grumbled that turning 28 sucked ass. He'd very cheerily shout back at me "Twenty-eight is really great!" Gah! Turns out, he was right and each year since has just kept getting better.

Examples:

2003 - Met Daniel
2004 - Engaged
2005 - Married
2006 - Zoe conceived
2007 - Zoe born

Obviously, tons more things happened but these are definitely the highlights. Makes me kind of wonder what 2008 has in store for us. I'm thinking it's actually going to be a great year.

I hope you all had a fabulous holiday. Daniel called it this afternoon on the drive home from San Diego: "Ate too much food, spent too much money, but had a good time." And all of it is true. Getting to have both sets of Zoe's grandparents with us in the new house was pretty much the most wonderful thing about the holidays. Except, maybe getting to see Zoe "open " presents and try to eat the wrapping paper. I now truly feel like we've broken this house in and it feels like home. Of course, I also said that the first time I stayed up all night getting sick. Nothing says home like writhing in pain on the bathroom floor!

Yesterday was mellow for us. Besides being New Year's Eve is was more importantly (for us anyway) Daniel's 29th birthday. Yep, that's right: his last year of his twenties. I've got to say this makes me very happy because it's sort of lonely over here in thirties ville. We watched movies, relaxed, had Chick-fil-a for lunch, played with Zoe, hung out with my Dad, ordered Chinese food to go and watched more TV. I even thought about some changes I'd like to make and some goals I'd like to try to achieve in the upcoming year. The first being this. Yep. I'm going to attempt Blog 365 for as long as it entertains me. I'm not quite sure how long that will be, but it will be interesting to find out.

Cheers!