Inevitably Keely

Dear Stupid Receptionist Girl, If I walk up to your reception desk and look fairly miserable, please do not tell me that I am wrong and do not have an appointment to see my gynocologist. Do not tell me I must be mistaken and then turn away from me (without saying excuse me) to have a conversation with someone else about something as trivial as what you ate for lunch today. Do not turn back to me and say "What were we doing again?" and "Oh, yes. You're not supposed to be here." Yeah. That might piss me off since I've had a Y.I for the past three days and was on the phone at eight this morning to get an appointment TODAY. Today, because I knew I could not wait another freaking day before I got me some strong, fast acting medication to make me all better. Also, do not act condescending towards me - that REALLY ticks me off. And I could do with out your sarcasm, because you know what? I'm so much better at sarcasm than you! Thanks. Thanks a lot. You made my ...

I have an appointment this Friday for my annual check up. I've been seriously considering canceling the appointment because I really feel like I've had my fair share of pelvic exams over the past two plus years. Between trying to get pregnant, being pregnant and the follow up exam to make sure everything healed correctly, I'm feeling done with my OB/GYN for a bit. I'd say I'm breaking up with him, but he broke up with me... and every other patient he had. Apparently, my doc has retired or quit practicing or something. A close friend (practically family) had been seeing him and when she went for her 15 (15?) week check up the front desk person asked her who her new doc was. What the heck? That sucks. Luckily, the office has lots of docs in it and my friend found a new doc that comes highly recommended, but still. We brought Zoe into his office three months ago so he could meet and hold her. It was when we were getting all those tests done on her to find out why she w...

After years of retail there are a few things that drive me absolutely bonkers: 1. Rudeness, ignorance and projecting. I'm putting them all together because, from my experience if a customer has an issue with one they have all of them. Yesterday we were at Target (the best store in the world) waiting in line at the Returns desk. I needed to return a shirt that fit funky (in a bad way). I was cheery about the entire thing. I had my receipt and it wasn't anyone's fault the shirt looked ridiculous on me - I just had to return it. Well, before I could do so I had to wait for this woman to freak out. And she really freaked; in front of her toddler. She was cussing and yelling and demanding corporate numbers. The woman did not have a receipt and was returning something that looked really used, like "Hey, my kid used this all last winter and now it doesn't fit him so I'm returning it." used. The sales people gave her the number and did it without stooping to her l...

I always say “You're never really at home in a new house until you've stayed up all night praying to the porcelain god, O'Rourke.” Yeah. I've never actually said that, but in a way it's sort of true. I woke up at 12:30 this morning feeling less than spectacular and spent a lot of time feeling like hell. Daniel was there with me every step of the way, holding hair back that did not want to be controlled and covering me with blankets on the bathroom floor. I had the chills. I was burning up. It sucked ass. I wish I could say it's a brand new day and that I'm feeling SOOOO much better, but technically it's the same damn day and feeling better... not so much. Except! I've got an amazing husband and the most adorable daughter watching me as I type my post here. And really, they make my worst day seem pretty fabulous. Excuse me while I go get some hugs and kisses.

I'm sick. Sore throat, drainage, achy bones, migraines, cranky sick. So sick that I catch myself frowning and groaning in misery. Except of course when Zoe is in the room with me. When Zoe is with me I am squealing, smiling, dancing around, and making that growling noise into her neck that makes her laugh with a snort. While I may be sick, when Zoe is around I do not have the luxury of acting sick because who wants to drag a five month old into their misery? Not me. And truthfully, her presence makes me feel less sick and less grumpy. That said, Zoe is at Cheryl's today so that I can wallow in misery rest without feeling the need to entertain and so that I can get better. I really need to feel better, people. So I spent all morning sleeping. Well, most of the morning. At around 8am I woke up with a (ok, ANOTHER) horrible feeling. Bladder infection. No, I haven't been officially diagnosed but I know that's what it is. Time for even more water and cranberry juice and jus...

My mom loves American Idol. So much so, that when she and my dad came to visit Daniel and I in the hospital on day 2 of my induction, she searched and searched on our television for the channel with her beloved show on it. There I was having contractions (and trying to smile through it) as my mom clicked the remote over and over again. The hospital TV remote was lame and didn’t allow you to input numbers, so those arrows just kept getting pushed. At one point she said, “I just want to hear the song!” And by “the song”, I’m pretty sure she meant the opening music or theme music… and that’s what I call obsession, people. I, on the other hand, could care less about that show or any reality TV for that matter. I’ve never jumped on that bandwagon. All of those shows annoy the heck out of me and I cannot understand people’s fascination with the genre. I’ve seen tidbits and I’m unimpressed. And no, Mom… I do not want to be a contestant on the show – EVER! All that said, I discovered The Next ...

I know I promised you all a picture of our 'Charlie Brown' tree. It's coming, just not today. I struggled with the lighting in our living room last night when I tried to snap the photo and now I'm just not in the mood. Hey. It will give you something to look forward to. Um. Yeah. I got a call from our OB/GYN office this afternoon informing me that I failed my glucose test. We had sort of prepared ourselves for this, but it's still kind of upsetting to me. I worry. I worry all the time, and this compounds that worry times ten. Daniel and I go back to the office tomorrow for a 3-hour Glucose test. I need to not have anything but water after 8 o'clock tonight to prepare for our 8 am testing. They'll take a fasting blood sample and then I'll drink a disgusting orange drink that does not taste like flat orange soda despite the lab techs urging. An hour later they will take more blood and then the hour after that...and the hour after that. Yep. You read that c...

So, I woke up yesterday with some extreme back pain in my shoulder area. At first it was a constant dull ache, but as the day progressed the pain became shooting. It hurt to raise my arm and there were many points where I yelped out in pain. At bed time, Daniel helped me by surrounding me with pillows - in front of my stomach, behind my back, between my knees. I was a pillow taco. Hmmm. That's a weird phrase I will try never to use again. Anyway, I woke up this morning and the pain had not magically disappeared so Daniel called and made me an appointment for a prenatal massage for this afternoon. Now I've never had a full blown massage before so I didn't know what to expect, really. I expected dim lights, pleasant scents, (I was hoping for lavender)and relaxing music. I thought there might even be a rock fountain, but I was hoping not because the sound of water would probably make me think I had to pee constantly. I thought I would lay on the table and close my eyes. I worr...

I think it might have been my early exposure to late night showings of 'The Legend of Lizzie Borden', 'The Exorcist' or 'Gremlins'. It might have been those freaky Vincent Price movies I caught glimpses of. I'm pretty sure seeing 'Critters' when I was eleven years old was a bad idea. Those"critters" still freak me out. The fact is, I hate scary movies. I don't like the gore. I can't stand the screaming. That tight feeling I get all over my body : tension, panic. I can totally do without all of it. Honestly, I don't get the fascination people have with spending money to be scared. Lucky for me, I married a guy who shares my distaste for the horror genre. Daniel and I have a good friend that says we "secretly love scary movies". Um. No. No we don't. He says that our affinity for 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and 'Angel' proves that we at least like scary movies. I argue that Buffy & Angel are tele...

I think Daniel and I are good neighbors. One, we don't leave clutter out on our porch or lawn (like the guy down the street who has a VERY large model of a battleship). Two, we make sure our yard looks good by paying a nice gardener to take care of it weekly. Three, we 're friendly...you know, we wave every once in a while. Four, we don't throw wild, crazy all night parties. Five, we don't play our music loud. Six, we don't argue so the whole neighborhood can hear like the crazy people across the street. Seven, I try to keep the dogs quiet. Eight, we don't park in front of their house even if they park in front of ours (and steal Daniel's spot). Nine, the dog children don't use other lawns as their bathroom area. And ten...I can't think of a number 10, but trust me we're good neighbors to have. I guess that's why I get so annoyed with our neighbors. On one side of us we have a very old couple who is barely ever home. Aside from this one time ...

I love our dogs. Some people might say I love our dogs too much...and to that I'd say: maybe. It's no secret that I consider these dogs family. They are my pseudo children. I know, it may sound a little silly...but part of me feels like I'm a mom already because of these rascals. And when I say rascals, I mean evil spawn. It's gotta be motherly love that gets me through the havoc they reap in public and on our home. For example: Just a few days ago, we came home to find a two inch hole in our new sectional. We know it was Max because he had sofa stuffing stuck to his lip. I also have a sneaking suspicion that this was retaliation for taking his blessed Lazy Boy recliner away. He loved that thing. I could have screamed, but instead I just laughed. Screaming wouldn't have turned back time and saved my couch. It might have felt good, but laughing felt better. In all fairness, Bailey hasn't done anything bad in quite a while...most of her episodes were when she was...

Last Saturday afternoon, Daniel and I checked into the Hilton Gaslamp in downtown San Diego. We relaxed and then got ready to go to the theatre to see Wicked. My husband ironed his shirt for the first time in ages and I did my hair and makeup. It was an event. We looked good. I should have taken a picture of us. When we got down to the lobby, we asked the guy at the front desk what the quickest way to the Civic Theatre was. He suggested we walk since it was just a turn to the left and then 4 blocks away. Four blocks later, we were at the Pacific movie theater. Clearly, I need to annunciate better. We kept walking for a few more blocks, made another left and arrived at our destination with time to consume bottled water and a cheese tray for two before we took our seats. The show was fabulous. It was an amazing experience to see those characters come alive after being a huge fan of the Wizard of Oz movie and the Wicked book. I felt like a little girl watching every scene with anticip...