Showing posts from September, 2008


Say you have a neighbor with whom you have no relationship with whatsoever who also happens to have their house up for sale - but it appears they might still live there since there's a car in the driveway. Say that you doubt you have much in common with that neighbor and think they probably wouldn't take kindly to you knocking on their door to say hello. Say that neighbor has a small pool in their backyard that you've noticed now looks like a murky pond you wouldn't let your dog drink out of. I'm talking dark green, can't see the bottom of the pool, Florida everglades, a alligator might jump out at them if they get too close murky green. Say you live in an area of the country where West Nile Virus is an issue and you have a family whose well being you are concerned about. Say you're almost 6 months pregnant and you're a little paranoid about your unborn child's health because you're hormonal and want to be as healthy as possible for him and his…

100 Days

Well, according to my calendar and due date, Finnegan should be here in 100 days. My guess is he'll actually be here between 90 and 95 days because he'll definitely be a c-section baby and I'd really like to have him come prior to New Year's Day. Why you ask? Purely practical reasons : taxes. Clearly, we want him to come when he is ready but having an additional dependent won't hurt us come April. I'm really hoping for between December 26th and the 29th. I know that is pretty specific, but I really want to be home with Zoe for Christmas and since Daniel's birthday is New Year's Eve I would like him to not have to spend it in a cramped recovery room on an uncomfortable cot. Never mind that if I get my way he'll be changing a lot of diapers and getting very little sleep as his "present". I think he'll think it's all worth it to get to celebrate his 30th! birthday with his little girl and new baby boy. We're so excited!

I realize m…


I don't usually talk politics on my blog. No, wait - I NEVER talk about politics on my blog. Ever. EVER.

And I'm not really going to right now either.

You see, I was taught at an early age that an individuals politics are a personal matter. In fact of all the things my parents tried to instill in me - it's one of the things that has stood out to me most on the list. This became all the more clear four years ago in the Kerry/Bush election. Despite our liberal leanings, Daniel and I live in a very right wing, conservative town and we tend to feel outnumbered here. Since we're both extremely non-confrontational people, we've opted to avoid conversations where Democrats are pitted against Republicans or vice versa. I'm going to call it our survival instinct to just keep mum. And truthfully, while there are some topics we might like to discuss with friends and family - we avoid them because we don't want to create a rift. We don't want to look at them differ…

Dear Zoe,

Wowee! How old are you now? Five? No? Alright, you're actually almost 16 months old now - 1 year 3 months 3 weeks and 5 days old - to be exact. Can I just tell you that every single day with you has been an adventure? It has, sweetie. It's been a crazy, roller coaster ride of an adventure. We've had some crazy days. Your mother has had some moments where she's asked herself what the HECK she is doing. There have been some tears between the two of us. There have been some disagreements. But mostly, there's been this clarity that I am doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing and you were meant to be my daughter.

But I'm not going to talk about the rough times right now - I'll save that for when you're a teenager and I'm trying to make you feel guilty for being such a wild child. I kid, I kid. Mostly. What I am going to talk about is what an amazingly sweet little girl you are.

Words: You are a talker! Big time! Sometimes we have no idea what in …

This Time Around

I worry more with this pregnancy than I ever did with Zoe.

I think it has a lot to do with us doing this on our own. There were no medications, no injections, or special treatment. We didn’t have a fertility doctor holding our hands and watching my eggs closely making sure they developed on track and became our Zoe.

This time we had fate or luck or something special on our side. There was no intervention, no medical procedures. We talked about our desires to have our family grow. I stopped birth control. And then three months later we found out I was pregnant. That morning still sticks out in my head as one of the biggest surprises I’ve ever had. I was so excited and happy for our family.

But with that excitement came fear. What if this wasn’t meant to be? What if we really needed that extra support we got from the fertility doc? This time around I would not be monitored so closely, I would not have as many appointments or ultrasounds. We would be on our own for the most part and that …

Lessons Learned

Zoe has this face she makes when she's trying to show she's not happy with something. She puckers up her lips in a sort of kiss/Elvis snarl, squints her eyes so that the blue is almost invisible and wrinkles up her nose - all while sticking out her chin in complete defiance. It's not the look I looked forward to seeing after carrying her for nine months. It's not really a look I think that insights others to run out and conceive a sweet bundle of joy of their own. It's a face that only her parents can love, I think.

But we've come to realize that this face is the lesser of the evils she is capable of unleashing - and I say that with a mother's love and understanding. I understand how hard it must be to be fifteen months old. I understand that she wants to touch anything and experience everything. I know how frustrating it must be to know exactly what you want with all your heart, but not be able to express yourself with the words that you hear daily. I under…