Thursday, May 03, 2012

Scars

Earlier today, Zoe asked me (for the 1st time) about the scars on her forehead. Frankly, I was sort of surprised she hadn't asked me sooner. Zoe is very interested in her appearance - I wouldn't say overly so, but she is on top of what she will wear daily and she does make hairstyle requests.

I took a deep breath and told her someone was not driving safely and they accidentally ran their car into ours (September 27, 2009). I told her that her and Finn's car seats kept them safe, but glass from her window got her. She asked me if it hurt my heart and I said it did, but that I felt like that day was one of the luckiest of my entire life. She asked me "It could have been much worse?" I said yes and she said: "If I had gone to heaven I would have always been with you still." And my heart broke a little, but I told her she was right and that I'm glad that she's with me now. She said she wished the marks would go away, that they aren't very pretty. I brushed her bangs aside and said I was proud of her and that she was beautiful on the inside and out, with or without the scars. I told her those scars reminded me to drive safely and they reminded me how strong she was and how supportive our friends and family were and are.

She asked me if I was friends with the person who hit us and I told her no, he was a stranger. She asked if I would ever be friends with him and I told her I doubted we would ever see him again or even know who he was if we did. She asked if I was mad at him and I told her I was very mad, but that I know he didn't mean to hurt us and that he is very sorry anyone got hurt because of his driving. I told her that I forgive him. She hugged me and told me she loved me and our conversation quickly switched gears to how she would wear her hair to her first Creative Dramatics class. She decided on two braids and I pinned her too long bangs off to the side to keep them out of her eyes. She looked at herself in the mirror and said, "Thank you, Mommy! I look beautiful!" She was right.

*Whew!* Are we sure she's only just turning 5 this month? So many thoughtful, honest questions about serious things. I think I did pretty well for being caught off guard... and I think I meant everything I said. *sigh*