Friday, January 29, 2010

Health Update

We found out this morning that Finnegan has pneumonia.

An hour later, Daniel was at the doc. He has bronchitis.

Less than an hour later I was on the phone with the pediatrician requesting Zoe get a chest xray too. Call it mothers intuition or just common sense, but it seemed like Z had more than a common cold.

An hour later I was at the Pulmonologist.

THREE hours, 2 breathing tests, and 2 chest xrays later, we know that my pneumonia is improving but likely to turn into bronchitis. The bad news is my lungs are at 50% capacity. The good news is... that's better than 0. The doc is trying to figure out why this is happening to me. Pneumonia should only affect me by 15%... 50 is bad. The other news is that he wants to check me for Valley Fever again next week. He says despite last weeks results, it's just too early to know I don't have it. He also says he'd rather I have VF because he knows how to treat that. Look at me! I'm so *mysterious*.

As soon as we finished there, we took Z for her chest xray. She doesn't have pneumonia, but she does have bronchitis. 

So 2 and 2... and we're all on antibiotics. Party at my house! Ahem. NOT!

The best part of my day (because I'm looking for some more positives): I ran into someone I hired when I worked at Pier One. She had no retail experience when I met her and the other managers didn't want to hire her... but I pushed for it because she was a single mom of 2 and needed a job - and I knew I could train her. She worked there for 5 years. She became a manager. She put herself thru school. She was the tech who took Zoe's xray. I was so happy to see her and feel like I had a small part in helping her get to that point.

Silver lining. :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Just heard the news that an old favorite restaurant has closed it's doors.....

Daniel and I had our 1st kiss in the Woody's parking lot. We went there after our 1st rehearsal for Commedia del Arte. Surrounded by new theatre friends and trying to figure out how we were going to get to know each other, we both "coincidentally" left at the same time. I guess you could say the rest is history.

In the seven years we've been together, Woody's was a mainstay. It was where we went after rehearsals, auditions and shows. It was where we hung out with new friends and brought our out of town friends and family. It was where Daniel and I pretended to be "just friends" but held hands under the table... and years later brought our 1st baby and then our second.

"Zoe, this used to be your mommy and daddy's favorite place."

We had our favorite servers: Brad & Cathy... the two of them used to fight over who would get our table. We even invited them to our engagement party. But they're long gone now. Last we saw Cathy, it was at the Riverwalk park - she was married and has a toddler. Brad became a manager and then... not sure. There was a sweet guy with dark hair that used to be their bus boy, who we loved...

We had our favorite menu items: Corona, Strawberry Lemonade, Mozzarella Sticks with ranch, potato skins and chicken strips. I liked some mixed drink that I can't remember the name of, but that I suddenly have a taste for. It might have had the word "Cowabunga" in it, but I'm not sure. But it was fruity and strong and sooo good. I used to get the Cajun Chicken Sandwich, until I got one where the chicken was raw.

Woody's was our comfort place. Where we went when I was so, so sick - just so I could feel like I was getting out somewhere. It was where we would order To Go, pick it up and take it back to our little house on Chester Lane when I was too sick even for Woody's but didn't want Chipotle.

The last time we were there - both kids in tow, we said we'd never go back because the food had lost it's luster, the service was no longer what it used to be and the bathrooms were disgusting... but I sort of imagined that we would anyway. Because it was once our "Cheers" and how hard is it to screw up Mozzarella Sticks?

When I told Daniel they'd closed down, he took my hand and said, "They can't tear down our love, honey." It's true... but it's a little bit sad when the places you went to so much as a young, new couple start disappearing. When the family is better, Daniel and I need to hurry up and go to Mama Tosca's and relive the night he proposed before we can't do that anymore either.

Sickness, Cubed

Zoe woke up last night crying, coughing, wheezing and gasping for breath. When we'd gotten her to calm down and felt confident that we did not need to rush her to the ER, she and I settled into the guest room. I held her as she tossed and turned. She slept, I did not.

Daniel took Finnegan to Cheryl's this morning, as planned and left Z with me. She and I stayed huddled in the bed feeling miserable together. She's running a fever now and goes to her doctor in a half hour.

My husband was supposed to be able to work this week, but now he's home again to help take care of Z and take her to her appointment since I still feel like hell. Walking across the room takes my breath away.

I STILL don't have any of my blood test results or info on my CT Scan. What I do know, is that I'm not pregnant... not that I thought I was - and that the site of my TB test looks normal so far. I called my doctor's office at 10am and they said they'd call me right back. Um. I haven't heard back.

Daniel is now sick too. He's coughing and looks horrible.

It's like there's a plague on my house.

And now we have ants.

Insert many curse words, HERE.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

In Sickness

Last Monday night, we loaded up the family and went to Urgent Care. I wasn't feeling right and knew it would only get worse if I didn't get any meds in my system as soon as possible. Finn was being especially cranky, not eating as much and coughing. We were seen fairly quickly. The doctor said I had a bacterial infection and prescribed antibiotics. Finn was sick, but not that bad off, so we'd wait to give him any meds - just continue monitoring him. I thought we were on the road to recovery.

Monday night I started running a fever. I felt even worse the next day and by Wednesday, I was trying to get a hold of my doctor's office to get in as soon as they'd take me. They made room and saw me just before 10am, I was in x-rays ten minutes later. Turned out, I had pneumonia.

Four days later, I'm still as sick as I was that morning. I'm taking strong antibiotics, doing breathing treatments 4 times a day, and I keep my rescue inhaler close at hand. Daniel had to take the entire week off to help take care of me and the kids. I can barely get up to walk across the room, let alone chase two toddlers. My parents got here last night and are watching the kids so I can keep resting and Daniel can try to catch up on some work. They'll stay thru tomorrow evening and when they leave, they'll be leaving behind food for us to just heat up and eat. Cheryl is going to take both kids from us Tuesday-Friday while Daniel is at work, and we're going to hope for the best.

Thankfully, we are getting the help we need.

The hardest part about all of this is stopping myself from doing things around the house. I want to rush to the kids when they need me. I want to clean the kitchen and pick up all the toys. I need to do laundry. I feel bad that my husband is doing everything. I'm anxious to be back to myself so I can start contributing again.

As of now, we're waiting for some test results that we will hopefully get tomorrow. My doc thinks this started with something else. We're checking for Valley Fever, which seems to be the most likely culprit. Friday, they did a CT scan of my lungs to "search for other pathogens" and they did a full blood panel. Monday, my Dad will take me to get tested for TB.

I'm ready to be well again. I'm tired of this.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Dear Finnegan,

On this day one year ago, you were just eleven days old. So little and new to our family but already we had all fallen in love with you. I remember thinking then, as I do now, that you were meant to be with us at exactly the time that you came into our lives.

You see, when Daddy and I decided we'd like to bring another child into this world, we had no idea how fast it would happen. We were sure we would need help like with your sister. We imagined the "process" would take several months and we'd get pregnant again after maybe a year of trying. Well, you and fate had other plans because you were conceived 2 months after our "let's have another baby" talk. In fact, I had made an appointment with my doctor to talk to them about my trouble getting pregnant and had to change that to a prenatal appointment. This is why you are called our "budget baby" by the way, not because you are at all less expensive than your sister to take care of.

When you were in my belly, you were so active I was sure you were going to be this wild child with tons of energy. I was right and wrong. Unlike your sister, who is currently very vocal, you like to sit back and observe things. You speak softly as you go about your business walking and crawling and taking things apart. You sit in my lap and play with my hair and sing softly to me and you quietly sing yourself to sleep in baby talk. Like your sister, you are very curious and very, very, VERY expressive. I think you started arching your eyebrows from my womb because you were giving us those sly looks right away.

While you have a more reserved approach to interacting with new people, you make up for it in your activity. Like when you were in the womb, you like to be moving constantly. You started walking 3 weeks ago and 2 weeks ago, you started running. You like to throw your arms up in the air as you walk/run. I'm not sure what that's all about besides being adorable, but it's definitely not helping you with your balance or knocking into things. It's a miracle if we get through a day without you knocking your sweet little head on a table, bookcase, or a wall. I'm considering getting you a hard hat or maybe wrapping our walls and furniture in blankets and pillows to keep you safe. Not to say that you seem at all affected besides the scratches and bruises - you might protest for a few seconds, but you always get right back up for more. I think you want to keep up with your sister, you love her so.

It brings your daddy and me such joy to see you and Zoe together. You watch everything she does and you seem so amazed and entertained. You follow her all over the place and just laugh at her when she plays with and sings to you. I had worried that because you were so close together I was depriving you both of alone time with me and your daddy, but I know now that you both are thriving getting to be so close in age. That is not to say we don't have our bad moments within a day. You two get impatient with each other and there is sometimes pushing and not wanting to share, but there is mostly hugs and kisses and playing happily.

Yesterday we celebrated your 1st birthday with some of our friends and family. The house was full of people who loved you and I was so proud of you and to get to share our little family with them. You sat back and observed a lot of the time, but you also mingled, played and ate some cake (very neatly, I must add). When it was all over, and the house was picked up, you lay down flat on your back and just passed out from exhaustion. I imagine it takes a lot out of a little boy to celebrate their 1st year twice (we had a small party, just the 4 of us, for you and your Daddy on New Year's Eve).

I love you, baby boy. You really do complete our family.


Monday, January 04, 2010

Long Time

Wow! I honestly had no idea that I'd not written for over two months.

I'm not sure if it was that thing that happened in September... or maybe it was the holidays, or my family of four being sick for almost the entire month of November, but I just didn't make the time and I've missed it.

A lot has happened. Good things.

I'm driving again. I'm doing it very cautiously and I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I'm in a car, but I drive when I need to.

That's my big news, really.

Other great things happened:

Finn started crawling, finally. And then the furniture walking and then... 2 weeks shy of his 1st birthday, he walked. At 1 year and 4 days he is cruising around the house, keeping up with Zoe and RUNNING! It's amazing and scary and wonderful to see such a little human being running and laughing maniacally. He's a hoot.

We had both sets of grandparents with us for Christmas and that was perfect. Both kids had a lovely Christmas and just soaked in all the attention they got. Daniel and I even got to go out and see a movie: Sherlock Holmes, so good.

Family photo

Instead of doing a recap of the last couple months, I'm just going to tell you that you'll be seeing more of me in 2010. I didn't make any resolutions this year, but I am seeking more balance in my life and I've noticed that writing and venting makes me feel healthier and happier.