Showing posts from July, 2008

Where I've Been

So, the last time I blogged I said that I'd be back. I insinuated that I would not be a stranger on this here blog, that I had a lot to say/share. I lied. Obviously.

It's not that there hasn't been a lot going on - things worth sharing. Oh, there has.

The thing is, I tend to go into shut down mode quite frequently. It's either shut down and stop communicating or spew it all out on this blog. Once upon a time that would have been my first go to (after talking to Daniel) but since I made that bold move to share this with friends and family that stopped being an option. I'm used to people seeing me in one light - and I don't like making people worry. I prefer keeping a smile on my face and sucking it up - I've been doing this since my early twenties when that felt like the only option.

I imagine that my family can't handle seeing me any other way... so I sometimes hide how I feel because I find myself wanting to protect them. And as far as friends go, I'm…


So, I've been flaking on the whole blog thing. A part of me has really been missing it and then there's that part of me who just wants to focus on Zoe and feeling better (thank goodness for officially being in my 2nd trimester!) and is glad that I don't have that blog everyday commitment that I put on myself.

And my growing family has been busy. We went to a wedding/family reunion a couple weeks ago in the Truckee Donner/Reno area. We've been chasing Zoe around the house (she went from walking to running in weeks) and baby proofing everything. We've been cooking more at home and trying to stay out of the heat as much as possible. And well, hmmm. I guess that's it, but it feels like so much more.

Tomorrow I go in for my 3 hour glucose test. My 1 hour came back with very high numbers so chances are I've got gestational diabetes again (which is no surprise). I'm somewhat calmer about it all this time because I know I can manage this and have prepared myself …