It's been a long week. Struggling with both me and Daniel being sick. A trip to Urgent Care after dinner because we were concerned about my rapidly rising fever (I'm fine, Zoe's great). Trying to clean up a bit around the house. A friend's birthday dinner and get together. First read-thru for V-day today. Oh, and if I can motivate myself to get into gear, a trip to Pier One to get a table for next to the new glider.
Two out of two ultrasound techs agree that we are having a Zoe. She kept her legs outstretched and crossed nicely, but they're pretty darn sure she's a she. The detailed ultrasound showed no abnormalies. Her heart, brain, spine, abdomen, stomach, kidneys, legs and arms look perfect; so does her cute little face ( I joke that she looks like me). Her heartbeat is like a perfect little drum. I think we both smiled through the entire time.
When we got home, we made her crib with the bedding we ordered (and received Thursday). It looks very cute and happy. Tomorrow we'll probably place the furniture exactly where we want it and maybe take a few pics to share. We've got all these butterflies we need to hang on the walls and ceiling... we'll se eif we get that done too.
In the mean time, I am exhausted. We went to the 11pm showing of Big Knuckles at the Empty Space and had a great time. Figure we might as well get out and see some late night plays while we can. I also figure that maybe staying up until after 1 AM might assist me in not waking up at 4 AM. Seriously, I do not know how I used to be able to stay up until all hours of the night. I feel so old right now.
I got an email today from the director or The Vagina Monologues. I got in, along with tons of other extremely talented women all of which I am extremely excited ot work with. A few of them are already good friends; I imagine more of them will be by the time this is over. I get to do the monologue I auditioned with: The Vagina Workshop. It was the only one out of the bunch that I could really imagine doing 30 weeks pregnant, and luckily Amy saw it the same way. I am beyond excited. I've always wanted to be a part of V-day. Maybe it was becoming a mother that pushed me in that direction. Whether we find out for sure tomorrow (at our detailed ultrasound) that this baby is a Zoe or a Connor, they are a big part of why I wanted the chance to do this. I wanted to do something that makes a difference. I want to teach them from example that violence against women, or anyone is wrong. I should have gotten involved years ago, but I'm grateful for the opportunity now.
So. The glider is built. It's comfy. Max eyes it whenever he gets the chance. Jumps on our laps and sways against the glider, but appears to love it. Bailey could care less. She seems bothered by our time spent in the smallish room with all the black furniture, but does enjoy sitting under the crib. Max joins her and then they wrestle.... under the crib. Must stop that soon before it gets out of hand.
The changing table arrived Monday night, but we (well, Daniel) waited to build it until last night because he was feeling sick. One of us, or both of us is constantly feeling bad since New Year's day. It sucks. It makes me lazy and cranky. I have too much to do to be lazy and I don't like being cranky. Except I'm not so sure my crankiness is obvious. Sometimes I feel the need to just make the announcement. "Hey. I'm cranky." That usually makes me feel a little bit better.
We got the call Monday night that the bedding we'd ordered arrived in San Diego. I paid the balance owed and was told it would ship out Tuesday. I called Tuesday to get a tracking number... you know, to track the bedding. So the sales associate pauses after I ask for this information and asks, "Why do you want the tracking number?"
The answer seems obvious to me. "To track the progress of the bedding I've paid for." I smile after I say this instead of rolling my eyes because I remember my phone training from years ago, that a customer can always "hear" a frown or a smile. I wonder if she realizes mine is being forced. Nah.
"Oh, OK." She puts me on hold to retrieve information and gets back on to tell me that they didn't ship it.
"OK. I was told it would be shipped out today."
There is no pause. "Yeah, well. We're going to ship it tomorrow instead. I have a tracking number for you if you want it though."
I get the tracking number and then I tell myself to relax. The bedding will arrive soon... probably the day after we find out we're actually having a boy instead of a girl, and then I'll have to exchange it. When I ship it back, they will want a tracking number. Just you watch.
Other news includes me discovering my love for sugar free Breyers ice cream bars. Vanilla ice cream covered in a chocolate shell. 18 carbs! I love them. Love them! I am still on the lookout for a TCBY or some place where I can get good sugar free frozen yogurt though. It seems that removing the sugar from my diet makes me crave it. We always want what we can't have. Well, not really. I'm pretty darn happy with the things I do have and don't care so much about the rest. But I do crave sweets right now... and pickles. I might need to go eat a pickle - right now.
I dreamt last night that my mom was really encouraging me to start baking, and doing more crafts. I kept telling her that I'm just going to stick with my photography as my craft, but she told me that I needed to do baking and crafts for Zoe's well-being. She was very persistent, so I got off the phone with her and went into my kitchen and made a huge (HUGE!) cupcake with different colored frosting swirling into a big mountain of frosting. And then I ate it. The whole thing. See, I'm craving sweets. It was a strange dream, but man I wish I had a cupcake to eat right now. Oddlly enough, it's encouraged me to go to JoAnn's Fabric and Aaron Brothers today. I am SO influenced by my dreams. Too bad the 5 foot cupcake is off limits.
Sometimes I struggle with it...not feeling completely appreciated for all my time and effort. I don't earn a lot of money doing it. I take a lot of time going over my photos: editing, choosing, getting rid of the not so flattering shots, making publicity boards. Sometimes I don't get credit when people post the images on their myspace pages but I don't call them on it. I just keep plugging away and I never turn down the opportunity to take more pictures even if I'm sometimes tempted to do so. Really, when it all comes down to it...taking the photos and spending my time doing what I love is worth it all.
Zoe doesn't know what she's in for: pictures all the time! For now, the theatre* keeps me busy:
(Photography by Keely Emery - click collage to view 65 photos from the show)
High School Musical at THE SPOTLIGHT THEATER Book By: David Simpatico Songs by: Matthew Gerrard, Robbie Nevil, Ray Cham, Greg Cham, Andrew Seeley, Randy Petersen, Kevin Quinn, Andy Dodd, Adam Watts, Bryan Louiselle, David N. Lawrence, Faye Greenberg and Jamie Houston Music Adapted, Arranged and Produced by: Bryan Louiselle Based on a Disney Channel Original Movie written by: Peter Barsocchini Directed by Justin L. Brooks
Friday and Saturday at 8pm, Sunday at 2pm
Disney Channel's smash hit movie musical comes to life on the Spotlight stage!
High School Musical is the Disney sensation that has swept the nation and now it comes to the Spotlight Theatre this January! It is the story of Troy Bolton (Zach Sanders) and Gabriella Montez (Katie Aquino). Troy, the basketball star, and Gabriella, the new girl, decide to audition for the school musical and to everyone's surprise, they get a call back. Well, this will not do for Sharpay and Ryan Evans (Haley Sullivan, Miguel Torres) the stars of every school production. To see what ensues you need to come check out the amazing production of High School Musical directed by Justin L. Brooks who directed FAME for the Spotlight Theatre last year and choreographed by Marvin Ramey of the Dance Stop! This is fun for the entire family!
Tickets for this event are $18 for general admission, $15 for students, seniors, and active military.
Save $3 by getting your tickets a day in advance of the performance!
The Spotlight Theatre is located at 1622 19th Street, downtown Bakersfield.
Call 661 634 0692 for more information or to make reservations.
On the web at www.spotlighttheatreandcafe.com or www.myspace.com/spotlighttheatre
* Speaking of theatre.... I'd planned on "The Full Monty" being my last acting endeavor until after Zoe was a year or so. Then I decided last minute that I really wanted to audition for the "Vagina Monologues" by Eve Ensler at the theatre down the street from our house. I'd always been too chicken to do it before. I was intimidated by being an outsider. I've become comfortable with only acting at the Spotlight where everything feels familiar. But something changed. It may sound silly, but sometimes I think this pregnancy has made me stronger - more willing to take chances. I feel even more empowered than before.
I went to auditions this afternoon and I think I did pretty well, which sort of surprised me. I wasn't sure I could do it, ( or say vagina over and over again) but it felt good to step out of my comfort zone. It felt good to be reading from a script. It felt good to perform even if it was only for the director. I should find out sometime next week if I got in. The show goes up in March and I'll be 30 weeks pregnant opening weekend. I would love to get to do this, to be a part of what this show represents and does for women. Wish me luck!
Well, not really. Not yet anyway. However, Zoe's crib is built and you know, ready - aside for the bedding (which is on order). With some assistance from our friend Alison and our awesome new neighbor across the street, Daniel carried the huge box into the house and proceeded to build it. The neighbor warned that it took him 10 hours to build his baby's crib a couple months ago, but Daniel did it under two - and that was with us having some difficulty with the spring for the mattress. I (of course) snapped a few pics for us to remember all of this by. You know, because there will be a shortage of things for Daniel to build over the next few weeks, months, years.
Afterwards we went to dinner at BJ's (YUM!) and we celebrated with some beers. Well, just Daniel actually... but I took in the smell of the hops with my super pregnant smelling senses. It was a good day, followed by a nice night and totally worth waking up Monday feeling horrible. I'm sick, but I'm slowly getting back to normal.
As far as building the crib so early goes, I don't like to procrastinate. We got some very generous gifts from each set of parents and Daniel's grandparents, so we put it all into a "Zoe Nursery Fund". We've ordered bedding in lavender & purple with butterflies* View Here along with a glider and a changing table that match her crib. It's a nice feeling to walk into her room and not see office clutter, but a cute little crib. We're excited to get to put her in it, you know after a month or so of her sleeping in a bassinet in our room. Sometimes this all seems so surreal to me. So exciting, but unbelievable at the same time. The crib makes it more real, along with her kicking me all the time. :)
* Totally exchangeable if Zoe turns out to be Connor. It would figure our baby would try to pull a fast one on us and trick us into thinking it's a girl. :) But no worries. I'm excited either way and I've got some "Safari" themed bedding picked out just in case. We have another ultrasound on the 19th, so we're expecting confirmation then.
Someday soon, I will write about my hopes for 2007. I will not post resolutions because I don't really do those, but I will probably post some goals. I'll probably do some reflecting. I might even choose some of my favorite photos from 2006, because that just sounds like fun. Eventually, (maybe even in the next few days) I will write about some of my favorite moments of 2006. Some of them were extraordinary and lush & some were sweet and simple. At some point, I'll even get around to posting those photos of me back when I was a blondie, maybe before my roots grow out.
But for now, I'm not going to do any of that. Daniel and I managed to be well for the first time in three years for New Years Eve/his birthday, only to wake up sick the next day. We're still recovering.
What I will leave you with is one of my happiest days I've ever had. September 19, 2006.
These are self-portraits I took with my cell phone camera the day we found out we were going to be parents. The one on the left was taken around 6:30 in the morning when I was too excited to go back to sleep. The one on the right is later in the day, after I had taken my third test...just to make sure I hadn't screwed something up. I may not look my best in either one, but along with my wedding pictures they are among my favorite photos taken of me.