Not Gonna Do It

I think it might have been my early exposure to late night showings of 'The Legend of Lizzie Borden', 'The Exorcist' or 'Gremlins'. It might have been those freaky Vincent Price movies I caught glimpses of. I'm pretty sure seeing 'Critters' when I was eleven years old was a bad idea. Those"critters" still freak me out. The fact is, I hate scary movies. I don't like the gore. I can't stand the screaming. That tight feeling I get all over my body : tension, panic. I can totally do without all of it. Honestly, I don't get the fascination people have with spending money to be scared. Lucky for me, I married a guy who shares my distaste for the horror genre.

Daniel and I have a good friend that says we "secretly love scary movies". Um. No. No we don't. He says that our affinity for 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and 'Angel' proves that we at least like scary movies. I argue that Buffy & Angel are television shows and do not get as scary as say...something like 'Hostel'. The entire point of those shows is not to scare the bejezzus out of me. Oh no, Joss Whedon includes humor, angst, romance and drama. His stuff doesn't scare me, so it can't be horror.

That same friend called us last week to invite us to go see 'The Descent'. "What's that?" And then I remembered the trailer. "That's supposed to be the scariest movie ever! No way!" Our friend and his girlfriend kept prodding. They told me it wouldn't be that bad. They told me I'd like it. They even went so far as to say that scary movies are an aphrodisiac and seeing 'The Descent' (coupled with some raw oysters) just might help us conceive...that night when we got home. Heh. Well, first of all....being scared out of my wits does NOT put me in the mood. Secondly, I bet our specialist would disagree with that theory. Third, the timing was ALL off for the baby making. So we declined and I think we ended up watching the 'Blade' series off of iTunes.

I know what you might be thinking. Blade? Isn't that about vampires? Yep. For some strange reason, vampires don't scare me. I like the cheesiness of 'Blade' and the bad acting doesn't bother me. The blood doesn't bother me either. Maybe it's because it's just a tv show and they don't go as far as the movies do. I was obsessed with vampires when I was in high school. Francis Ford Coppola's 'Dracula' came out my Junior year and it sent me in a flurry. I read all the Anne Rice books. I had scary movie stills and posters posted all over my room (along with Madonna and fairies). I couldn't wait for the disappointment that was 'Interview With the Vampire' to come out. My parents were probably worried for a while there. It was a little creepy. Anyway, I got over the obsession but I guess it sort of explains why I like Buffy & Angel too.

So, what is the draw? Is watching a horror movie about facing your fears? I'm afraid of snakes - so will watching 'Snakes on a Plane' help me overcome my fear? No. And that's not the point at all, right. It's entertainment, silly.

For some people. For me, watching the trailer is enough and sometimes even that it too much. For instance, I decided to watch the new trailer for 'The Grudge 2' yesterday. It's got Buffy alum S.M.G. and it's the sequel to a remake of a Japanese horror film set in Tokyo. You've heard of it, I'm sure. So I watched the whole preview and jumped a few times, but it wasn't that bad. Minutes later I'm in my kitchen doing dishes and I jump because I heard a dripping noise. A dripping noise from a sponge I didn't ring out made me jump! No scary movies for me. Not gonna do it. Ever. Again.

This post brought to you by the letter "W" for wimp or wuss and the letter "S" for Scaredy-Cat. Also by the letter "B" for bejezzus...because it's fun to say. I like the double z's.


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