Friday, April 11, 2008

Daydream Believer

I am truly, madly, deeply in love with my husband and my baby (and my dog children) but sometimes I daydream about taking a vacation with myself.

I dream about jumping on a plane and going to Europe and then taking the trains everywhere. I imagine what it would be like to wander the streets, the countryside, and the museums with my camera and having my own little adventure. I dream about sitting in a cafe or in a garden with a journal; writing about the sights and how it feels to be on my own, nourishing my mind and soul. I would take in concerts, go to plays, maybe take a cooking class, and see an opera.

Sometimes I dream about going somewhere more "local" and having an adventure: New York, Boston, Washington D.C., Portland, Seattle, etc. I daydream about getting to explore in a new environment. I want to try new restaurants, have new experiences, walk, visit antique stores and museums, see concerts, etc.

I think I would have an envelope for each city I went to and inside it I would include things to help me remember my trip - flowers, wine bottle corks, postcards, tickets, menus, etc and then I would make a shadow box display for each city I visited and hang them in my house so I could share my experiences and feel that sense of adventure just by looking at them.

In my 31 years (almost 32) I've only taken one trip on my own: to Chicago, shortly after I'd left Assface. When that trip was planned it was supposed to be me spending time with my long distance boyfriend at the time, but ended up being the end of that relationship and a strong taste of what it really meant to be on my own. I navigated the "L" and the roads on my own. I spent entire days in the museums and wandering Michigan Ave. I wrote my feelings and observations on stray napkins and shoved them in my pockets. I explored. I spent quality time with myself asking questions and facing truths I hadn't intended to face. I came home exhausted, but refreshed. Sometimes I think I need that again.

And then I can't imagine being away from my little family.

How about you? What do you daydream about?

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