My parents are going to be here in about ten hours. It's the first time they will see the house with our stuff in it (we showed it to them before everything was official). It's the first trip they've gotten to take since my dad started radiation (now we're in the waiting period, we'll know how it worked in about three months). It's the first time we've had guests in the new house.
The house is a mess right now. Pictures still not hung. Things not organized or put in their places yet. We've been in a messy state ever since I got sick, and then Daniel was sick and then Zoe. Now we're all sick: Partaay! It's been one big sickie party over here. It's a good excuse, but it still drives me crazy. Looking around makes me feel anxious and panicky. If you were to see it, you'd probably think it doesn't look bad... but you’re not me. I get obsessed with the details. Daniel often has to tell me to make sure I relax and not do all the things I feel need to be done because he knows I'll just wear myself out and get even sicker.
I think a lot of it comes from my years working at Bombay (FYI - they're going out of business in the US, lots of good deals in stores) and Pier One. I would do entire floor moves in the span of a week. We'd move all the furniture, paint and re-hang all the walls at least four times a year at Bombay (if not more). Sometimes I had a team working with me and sometimes I did a lot of it on my own because it got me out of my house and well, I liked it. I liked the deadlines I was given, getting ready for the district, and regional, and corporate visits. I loved the big wigs walking in my stores and seeing how great everything looked. Now, I find myself comparing family and friends (the people who really just want to see us.... and Zoe) to the people who walked around critiquing my space and team. It's silly.
Silly, but still - I've got stuff to do...