Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Take a deep breath…

And let it out. Phew! I’ve had to remind myself to do this lately. Between baby, dog children, us visiting my parents, trying to maintain friendships and this house (the one we’re moving out of) I forget sometimes. Seriously.

I woke up an hour ago. I took a quick shower (thank goodness!). I folded and hung up baby laundry. I put a load of darks in the wash. I unpacked our suitcase from this past weekend. I separated two more loads to try to do today. I checked email and forced myself to eat some cereal because I probably won’t eat again until at least 1pm. And now I’m sitting down blogging because, YAY! The baby is still sleeping. What I should be doing is making a list of the other things I need us to do so we can move out of here… hmmm.

I’ve always admired SAHM’s. I’ve never been one to say it sounded boring or uneventful. I was excited for the chance to do this because I love the idea of getting to be with Zoe everyday and teach her. There are so many out there who would love to stay home with their children and just can’t. I am very, very lucky. That said; this is hard! I love getting to be with Zoe, but I’m having a hard time managing my time. As a former manager and obsessive planner, this drives me crazy. I know, welcome to motherhood. I knew it would be this way, I just didn’t realize how much I would struggle with it. I look around my house and freak out about the mess and disorganization. I beat myself up about the dishes and the laundry not getting done. And we’re not even going to talk about moving.

OK. Let’s talk about it (baby still sleeping). We have not packed one box. Not a single one. Gah! We’ve known for almost a month that we are out of this house as of October 31st, but you know what? Not so easy packing up a house when you have a baby. And, we’ve accumulated a lot of stuff! Books. DVD’s. Music. We’re like a mini Borders. And there is a lot of stuff we just really don’t need, but we’re both packrats and can’t bear to part with them.

Deep breath!

We’re fine. My best gal pal is coming to visit Friday through Sunday and I know she’ll be all over holding the monkey while Daniel and I fill and load up boxes. We have a total of three weekends left to get moved in to the new house and clean the old place. That is more than what most people have. We’re lucky. We have friends who have offered assistance; I’m just not so good at taking it. I need to change that.

As a manager, delegating was my biggest struggle/ “growth opportunity”. I had to force myself to do it so I wouldn’t go crazy, but there was this part of me that loved doing stuff on my own. It felt quicker and more efficient. I liked getting to stand back and look at what I’d accomplished all by myself. There is this little part of me that keeps saying that I am a failure at this SAHM-ing. All these other people do it, people who I admire and aspire to be like. Why am I not an instant success at it? A huge part of me is telling myself, “Why can you not manage a household as easily as you managed stores and all those employees?” I’m realizing now, that it’s because I did delegate. I had all these people who got paid to help me on a daily basis. I succeeded because I had awesome people working for me. Training was my big thing back when I worked. I loved it and would go to other stores to train people. So, what I want to know is: Is there a training manual for being a SAHM? Seriously.

OK. I need to switch the laundry, add another load, and possibly start washing some dishes before the little one wakes up.

Deep breath!

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