Inevitably Keely

Today is the day I've been half dreading for a few years. 30. Thirty years old. The more I say it, the more accepting of it I am. And really, I don't get what made me so anxious about turning thirty. So far it's not so bad. Grey hair did not suddenly sprout from my head. I still feel young. I still get carded! I still get carded! Sorry, I felt the need to say that twice, it's fun to say. So, I kiss my twenties goodbye. It was quite a decade. Marriage. Life of retail management. Home ownership. Divorce. Travel. Relocating to Bakersfield. Tons of mistakes and learning experiences. Bankruptcy. Theatre. Falling in love with Daniel. Getting diagnosed with RSD. Lots of doctor appointments/medical procedures. Marriage. Losing Nana. Trying to extend our family. Photography. Getting paid for my photography. There were some really tough times in there, but looking back: the good outweighs the bad. The wonderful memories are more vivid than the crappy ones. I'm proud of who ...

I think it might have been my early exposure to late night showings of 'The Legend of Lizzie Borden', 'The Exorcist' or 'Gremlins'. It might have been those freaky Vincent Price movies I caught glimpses of. I'm pretty sure seeing 'Critters' when I was eleven years old was a bad idea. Those"critters" still freak me out. The fact is, I hate scary movies. I don't like the gore. I can't stand the screaming. That tight feeling I get all over my body : tension, panic. I can totally do without all of it. Honestly, I don't get the fascination people have with spending money to be scared. Lucky for me, I married a guy who shares my distaste for the horror genre. Daniel and I have a good friend that says we "secretly love scary movies". Um. No. No we don't. He says that our affinity for 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and 'Angel' proves that we at least like scary movies. I argue that Buffy & Angel are tele...

I think Daniel and I are good neighbors. One, we don't leave clutter out on our porch or lawn (like the guy down the street who has a VERY large model of a battleship). Two, we make sure our yard looks good by paying a nice gardener to take care of it weekly. Three, we 're friendly...you know, we wave every once in a while. Four, we don't throw wild, crazy all night parties. Five, we don't play our music loud. Six, we don't argue so the whole neighborhood can hear like the crazy people across the street. Seven, I try to keep the dogs quiet. Eight, we don't park in front of their house even if they park in front of ours (and steal Daniel's spot). Nine, the dog children don't use other lawns as their bathroom area. And ten...I can't think of a number 10, but trust me we're good neighbors to have. I guess that's why I get so annoyed with our neighbors. On one side of us we have a very old couple who is barely ever home. Aside from this one time ...

This past June marked my fourth year in Bakersfield. I moved here from San Diego after sleeping on an old futon in my parents’ living room for 7 months. I'd left behind a horrible marriage and was ready to start a new life. Bakersfield seemed like the logical place to go. Why? That was pretty much everyone's question. No one understood, least of all my parents or my former employers. I was leaving behind a good paying job, friends, my family and San Diego for Bakersfield? Why not L.A. or Chicago (where I had job offers)? Why not stay in San Diego? What was there to do in Bakersfield? The main draw for me was that I'd be living with my best friend from high school. We'd be able to do all the things I missed out on doing before. Moving in with her and her roommate was instant family, instant friends. It was living in my own space with two girls I thought the world of and being included in theirs. It was late night Rusty's delivery, Ouji board nights, eating out almost...

What were you doing 1 second ago? Leaving a comment on Nanette's blog about quickies. What? She tagged me. What were you doing an hour ago? Locking the dogs up in their crate because they wouldn't stop harassing the gardeners. What were you doing yesterday? Attending a "candle party". Shut up. It was fun. What were you doing a month ago? Starting a plethora of hormones to help us make a baby. Going to ComicCon. Just so you know: Hormones + Heat + 1000's of people at a comic book convention = Cranky Keely. Don't get me started on that damn green stroller . What were you doing a year ago? Recovering from our wedding and honeymoon. Thinking very seriously about getting another dog child to keep Bailey company help Bailey destroy our house. What were you doing five years ago? Living in San Diego. Managing a furniture store. Getting a divorce. Good times. What were you doing ten years ago? Living in Chicago. Who would you like to tag? Jen. Mel. MatildaKay. A...

I love our dogs. Some people might say I love our dogs too much...and to that I'd say: maybe. It's no secret that I consider these dogs family. They are my pseudo children. I know, it may sound a little silly...but part of me feels like I'm a mom already because of these rascals. And when I say rascals, I mean evil spawn. It's gotta be motherly love that gets me through the havoc they reap in public and on our home. For example: Just a few days ago, we came home to find a two inch hole in our new sectional. We know it was Max because he had sofa stuffing stuck to his lip. I also have a sneaking suspicion that this was retaliation for taking his blessed Lazy Boy recliner away. He loved that thing. I could have screamed, but instead I just laughed. Screaming wouldn't have turned back time and saved my couch. It might have felt good, but laughing felt better. In all fairness, Bailey hasn't done anything bad in quite a while...most of her episodes were when she was...

Last Saturday afternoon, Daniel and I checked into the Hilton Gaslamp in downtown San Diego. We relaxed and then got ready to go to the theatre to see Wicked. My husband ironed his shirt for the first time in ages and I did my hair and makeup. It was an event. We looked good. I should have taken a picture of us. When we got down to the lobby, we asked the guy at the front desk what the quickest way to the Civic Theatre was. He suggested we walk since it was just a turn to the left and then 4 blocks away. Four blocks later, we were at the Pacific movie theater. Clearly, I need to annunciate better. We kept walking for a few more blocks, made another left and arrived at our destination with time to consume bottled water and a cheese tray for two before we took our seats. The show was fabulous. It was an amazing experience to see those characters come alive after being a huge fan of the Wizard of Oz movie and the Wicked book. I felt like a little girl watching every scene with anticip...

So. Today was actually the day my doc told me to take an at home pregnancy test. The plan was to take it this morning and if it was positive, then rush to the lab for a blood test confirmation. The good news is, no blood test today! The sorta sad news is no baby either. I'm fine and as the title states, still staying positive...but I'm not going to lie: I had gotten my hopes up that everything would work on the first round of treatment. I kept telling myself to chill out. I said over and over again that all that nausea was just the stomach flu, but I wanted it to be morning sickness. I was excited to get to tell Daniel, our parents, his sister, and everyone else the good news. Now, we'll have to wait a little bit longer. And that's OK. Good things come to those who wait, right? I'm reminded of the fact that after having a horrible existence/marriage with Assface and then some time alone where I began to believe (and accept) that I would always be alone...that Daniel...