Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I'm Just Cranky

So, Baby "Zocon" is throwing me for a loop this week. I'm moody and more tired than I was last week. I get cranky very easily and just about everything sets me off into tears. There are moments where I think I should just lock myself up in the house until the second trimester (I hear things settle down then). Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. I am so excited to be pregnant and to have this baby...but I'm not having an easy time of it. At all. If one more person tells me they "never had morning sickness", I think I might scream. Really, I'm happy for them but can we not rub it into the lady suppressing the need to go get sick? That would be great.

I feel guilty for complaining. I worry that my venting will be construed as not being grateful or happy. I'm happy. I'm grateful. It's just...well, my boobs hurt (and itch) and I feel so nauseated all the time. Heartburn sucks and watching movie trailers should not make me burst into sobs. Also, I already need to buy some maternity clothes. I was looking forward to shopping for maternity clothes before, but we're trying to watch our budget really carefully so I'm waiting. I've got one pair of stretchy black pants that I'm wearing almost every day and I'm tired of them. Also, my boobs don't fit in most of my shirts now. The stretchy shirts that fit are too snug for me to be comfortable. I need loose and airy, not form fitting and constraining.

I know this will pass. I know this is probably just a particularly grouchy day and tomorrow will be better. I know that when we get to see the heartbeat again on Thursday and we see how the baby is growing, I'll sigh and think life is wonderful and grand. And it is. Really. I'm just cranky.

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