Inevitably Keely

My mom loves American Idol. So much so, that when she and my dad came to visit Daniel and I in the hospital on day 2 of my induction, she searched and searched on our television for the channel with her beloved show on it. There I was having contractions (and trying to smile through it) as my mom clicked the remote over and over again. The hospital TV remote was lame and didn’t allow you to input numbers, so those arrows just kept getting pushed. At one point she said, “I just want to hear the song!” And by “the song”, I’m pretty sure she meant the opening music or theme music… and that’s what I call obsession, people. I, on the other hand, could care less about that show or any reality TV for that matter. I’ve never jumped on that bandwagon. All of those shows annoy the heck out of me and I cannot understand people’s fascination with the genre. I’ve seen tidbits and I’m unimpressed. And no, Mom… I do not want to be a contestant on the show – EVER! All that said, I discovered The Next ...

Eleven years ago today, I made a mistake – a big one. I paid for it with nearly six years of my life. I was not a happy person then. It was a struggle. I became jaded and guarded and lost hope, but I do not regret it. I learned from my mistake and the trials that stemmed from it and became who I am now. Five years ago today*, I started over in a new town. I’d been away from my “big mistake” for six months, but not far enough away. I was still hurting and I was still afraid. Bakersfield gave me a sense of security. It was two girls I considered sisters. It was change and possibility, and opportunity. Bakersfield was finding theatre and myself again. It became living at The Spotlight. It was my second chance at my life and the place where I found hope and (after six months of struggle and growth) my heart’s mate. Fifteen minutes ago, I kissed Daniel goodbye and told him to have a great day and to be careful. I am blessed. Today is a strange day. There is sadness over the mistake, but not...

I've been going back and forth on what to do with my hair as of late. Well, actually... I've been going back and forth on that since my second trimester with Zoe. Before I got pregnant with the little one, I went to "my lady" every six weeks. I've been seeing Brigette for five years; Daniel's been seeing her for four years... we invited her to our wedding for goodness sakes. Who does that? With Brigette I get color, a trim, and some laughs. I always ask her to make my hair really, really dark and she always makes it just a little less dark than I had wanted because she's worried too dark would be too severe. She might be right. She's made me more blonde, blonde with black underneath, dark, dark with bright red streaks and then dark again. She's cut my hair shoulder length and given me bangs for the first time since I was 13. I go to her and am always confident that I'll look good when I leave her chair two and a half hours later. I trust Briget...

We started the festivities early. I gave Daniel presents from me and Zoe on Friday: some video games, a couple cool t-shirts and a pair of shorts because it's so darn hot here. Figured giving him his presents early made sense so that he could enjoy them all weekend long. We did things at a slow pace: lots of relaxing, diaper changing, feedings, coffee, nap-taking. Daniel got to play Wii. On Sunday, we ventured out and I took some pictures of Daniel and our little one (and a few of me, too). We dressed her in a sundress, special for the occasion. Zoe didn't fuss the entire time, but she also didn't open her eyes for a single photo. Oh, well. She did stay sleeping so her dad and I could have a little date night and that was nice. We made taco salads (with my homemade guac, yum!) and watched "Catch & Release" from our Netflix queue. I'd say our first Father's Day with Zoe was a success.

you would hear me saying this at around 2AM: "No, Zoe. This isn't eating time. We did that already. This is the sleeping time. First we eat, then we sleep. That's how we do it here. You want to do things the right way don't you? "WAAAAA!" "Well, OK then."

It’s been two weeks since Zoe was born and I miss my preggo belly. Well, sort of. I’ll be the first to tell you that the last month or so of pregnancy is not easy. I mean, duh. The weight of Zoe in my belly was taxing on my back and legs. I waddled like a duck with a limp. I could not put my feet up on the couch without grabbing on to my pant leg and pulling my leg up or having Daniel assist. Speaking of pants: it was difficult for me to pull mine up on my own and I was always grateful to get help from the husband in doing so. Since Zoe never dropped, my belly stayed high and made it difficult for me to breathe and to sit up straight. It took energy I didn’t have to be able to turn over in bed. My belly threw my entire body off balance. Sometimes I’d compare my pregnant self to Humpty Dumpty or a member of the Lollipop Guild (a munchkin). I’d put my hands on either side of my belly and do a little shuffle dance similar to what the munchkins did and sing “We welcome you to munchkin land...

Five years ago (well, almost - June 7, 2002) I was driving down to Bakersfield from San Diego to visit Ashley and Jenna for the weekend. After 2 short days, I’d decided I was going to move here and live with the girls. It was spur of the moment, (it was crazy actually) but I knew I needed to be in a new environment. I had been living with my parents for six months after leaving my ex-husband. I needed a new start and I figured living in Bakersfield for a year or so would be a good transition into a bigger city and a new life. I moved into apartment 32 just two weeks later. Two years ago today, Daniel and I were in San Antonio getting married in front of our friends and family. We’d been together since January 2003 and life had gradually led us to me walking down the aisle to him. We were partners embarking on a new chapter in our lives and I was filled with excitement, pride and gratitude that I got to be married to this beautiful person. On that day, I was the happiest I’d ever been i...

Someday I'll actually type some words again, but for now this will have to do: