Inevitably Keely

Dear Zoe, Exactly one year ago your daddy and I were anxiously waiting for your arrival. I was lying on an extremely uncomfortable hospital bed with monitors on my belly to keep track of my contractions and your heartbeat. The contractions were steady and your dad was very helpful in telling me when I was having a contraction since he was watching the tape very, very closely. Your dad, (you’ll learn) has a strong appreciation for graphs and data - the nurses thought he was a hoot and very helpful. I was so glad he was there with me and he knew just what to say to relax me and encourage me. Right about this time a year ago, your Nana K and Grandpa Joe were visiting us in our room. You could tell that they were nervous and excited and anxious for you to make your appearance. Your Nana was also very interested in the season six finale of American Idol and searched our television for her channel so she could see the show. Unfortunately, our remote only had up and down arrows and we had no...

Coincidentally, that was also my theme for my 28th year of life. I kept preempting that birthday with "28's not that great" but my lovely husband (then boyfriend) put a more positive spin on it whenever I grumbled that turning 28 sucked ass. He'd very cheerily shout back at me "Twenty-eight is really great!" Gah! Turns out, he was right and each year since has just kept getting better. Examples: 2003 - Met Daniel 2004 - Engaged 2005 - Married 2006 - Zoe conceived 2007 - Zoe born Obviously, tons more things happened but these are definitely the highlights. Makes me kind of wonder what 2008 has in store for us. I'm thinking it's actually going to be a great year. I hope you all had a fabulous holiday. Daniel called it this afternoon on the drive home from San Diego: "Ate too much food, spent too much money, but had a good time." And all of it is true. Getting to have both sets of Zoe's grandparents with us in the new house was pretty much...

This blog has been around for a while and it's been renamed a few times. It started off as "Little Miss Sunshine Girl", but that was such a long URL to type in and a long moniker to comment with. Then I renamed it "Sunshine Days". It was fitting for where my life was going, and it just worked. And then I took on "Inevitably Keely", because I grew tired of the sunshine attachment and wanted more of my real identity connected to my words. I've written as a recent divorcee; a singleton ; a girlfriend; a cohabitator ; a fiancé; a wife; a mom-to-be; a mama. I've written about a horrible marriage and what it took to heal from it, friendships gone bad, falling in love, living with my boyfriend, adopting puppies, planning a wedding, coping with my Nana's battle with cancer and later her passing , my own health issues , my adoring husband, our infertility journey and hopes to start a family, my pregnancy and our amazing baby girl. My words have ta...

We rent. We aspire to own, but since we don't really know where we want to set roots permanently and the market here (well, everywhere) is not so good.... we rent. Renting has been good to us. So good that we've lived in a cute little bungalow style home for less than $900/month. We were lucky. One day we were just driving around and I saw our house with a for rent sign. I asked Daniel to stop the car and we snooped in the windows. We've lived here for two years and were glad to be out of the little apartment we were in. But in the two years, our family grew. We adopted Max and then I got pregnant and well, then Zoe was born and with her came a lot of stuff. Toys and whatnot. Our space seemed cramped. I felt cramped. And then I became more and more uncomfortable with our little neighborhood and the people who knocked on our door asking for money. So we looked around a bit and while we saw places in nicer areas, knew we could never afford them. And then Cheryl and her husban...

A year ago today, I took a home pregnancy test and found out that Daniel and I were well on our way to becoming parents. From that moment, my life changed. I remember watching as the line rapidly formed in the window. I stood up and my heart was beating fast. I was overwhelmed with joy, with this huge sense of pride and accomplishment. I remember washing my hands slowly and looking in the mirror. I was beaming. I was going to be a mom. Already, I was a mom! Getting to share that moment with Daniel: when I rushed into our bedroom and jumped on the bed as he tried to catch his last couple hours of sleep in peace was (and I think always will be) one of the most exciting moments in our marriage. And scary. And I think that's what I've learned in the past year. Being a mom-to-be, a mom, a parent is a series of highs and lows, of pride and embarrassment, or accomplishments and even failures. It's rolling with the punches, the setbacks, the sleepless nights and going forward. Lau...

Today is my last day of being 30. Tomorrow, I will be 31. Crazy how that works out. 30 was a good age for me. We finally conceived Zoe (September 4!). I was pregnant: (The morning we found out) I was in The Full Monty and did the Cha Cha every weekend for four weeks with "all day sickness". I got closer to friends here in Bakersfield. I had an awesome vacation in San Diego with Daniel. I took some cool photos. I mended some fences. I grew. Literally: I think I became a better person, wife, friend, daughter, mother. I laughed a lot and cried a little. I was happy. I learned a lot. I ate better. I enjoyed the little pleasures and appreciated life's gifts even more. I finally learned to not be a baby about shots, getting blood drawn and IV's. I had a baby. I drank a lot of coffee, lost a lot of sleep, took as many naps as I could and got to see what an amazing father my husband is. I strived to be the best mom I can be. I learned to take "me time". And last...

Five years ago (well, almost - June 7, 2002) I was driving down to Bakersfield from San Diego to visit Ashley and Jenna for the weekend. After 2 short days, I’d decided I was going to move here and live with the girls. It was spur of the moment, (it was crazy actually) but I knew I needed to be in a new environment. I had been living with my parents for six months after leaving my ex-husband. I needed a new start and I figured living in Bakersfield for a year or so would be a good transition into a bigger city and a new life. I moved into apartment 32 just two weeks later. Two years ago today, Daniel and I were in San Antonio getting married in front of our friends and family. We’d been together since January 2003 and life had gradually led us to me walking down the aisle to him. We were partners embarking on a new chapter in our lives and I was filled with excitement, pride and gratitude that I got to be married to this beautiful person. On that day, I was the happiest I’d ever been i...

More pics and "the birth story" to follow soon. Thank you so much for all your well wishes. We are enjoying every second of being Zoe's parents.

I've got to make this short, but Zoe is here with us. Daniel and I tried to keep everyone updated through the process with text messages, my "What am I doing" link and with phone calls to friends and family. I had a check up on Monday and our doc asked when I wanted to have the baby. I said today and laughed. He said if I was serious we could see if there was room at the birth center. Almost 48 hours later, Zoe arrived. There's a long detailed story that I'll tell someday, but for now I've got a baby that needs some loving. Thank you all for your well wishes and support through all of this. I'll post some pics as soon as I get some energy... which will be soon, right? Ha.

This is Zoe. (Click image for larger viewing options.) Really. We now have confirmation for the third time that we are having a Zoe and not a Connor. I've been freaking out a tad about being surprised in the delivery room with a son instead of a daughter. Either is exciting and wonderful, but the nursery is SO close to being done! The idea of coming home with a baby boy and wanting to redo the entire room was just freaking me out. I love decorating, but not that much people! Anyway. Back to Zoe. I think she is gorgeous. I love her round little face and her button nose... and look at those cheeks! Daniel and I had hesitated about doing the 3D/4D ultrasound, but we just sort of stumbled in a place here in town and I fell for the pitch. I wanted the special keepsakes. I wanted to see her little face and body. I wanted confirmation (again) that she was a she. It was a great experience and I totally recommend having it done. Anywho. Our friend Alison is visiting this weekend and I am SO...

Even after me having a tiny cup of coffee this morning, Zocon was just not budging for the ultrasound tech, me, or Daniel. It seems our baby is a hard sleeper...and we're liking that just fine. :) After a whole lot of pushing and shaking by all of us, Zocon stretched the legs out straight and crossed them making it extrememly difficult to see what was what. When I saw the umbilical cord I mistook it for "something else" and was speechless for a moment or two since it was as long or longer than the legs. Luckily, the tech noted for us that we were seeing the umbilical cord. I don't know how they're able to distinguish everything so quickly. With a little more movement, we were finally able to see what we were there to see: ZOCON is a Zoe! Zoe Angeline Emery. We're having a girl and we are so excited! :) The tech pointed out to Daniel that not only is she a heavy sleeper, (I just think she's stubborn like her mom) but she is also private and shy. We were bot...

After having a wonderful birthday last Thursday, Daniel and I got to help celebrate a very special birthday for our good friends daughter, Ellie. She turned two and I had the fun task of documenting it all on film. She's such a precious little one and I had a blast taking photographs at the "Princess Tea Party" and later that evening while she swam around like the bathing beauty that she is. I'll have to talk to her Dad about me posting a couple on here to share. In the meantime I'll share the photo I'm thinking of putting on my Mac as a screensaver : Oven roasted cherry tomatoes & ricotta cheese on top of garlic & oil brushed baguette slices. Our friends' mom made these Sunday night and I ate about half of the tray. SO good, I think I could eat these daily. My mouth is watering just thinking about them! Anyway...Besides getting to give my photography as a gift, the experience made me think that I really could do this. There is a lot for me to lea...

Today is the day I've been half dreading for a few years. 30. Thirty years old. The more I say it, the more accepting of it I am. And really, I don't get what made me so anxious about turning thirty. So far it's not so bad. Grey hair did not suddenly sprout from my head. I still feel young. I still get carded! I still get carded! Sorry, I felt the need to say that twice, it's fun to say. So, I kiss my twenties goodbye. It was quite a decade. Marriage. Life of retail management. Home ownership. Divorce. Travel. Relocating to Bakersfield. Tons of mistakes and learning experiences. Bankruptcy. Theatre. Falling in love with Daniel. Getting diagnosed with RSD. Lots of doctor appointments/medical procedures. Marriage. Losing Nana. Trying to extend our family. Photography. Getting paid for my photography. There were some really tough times in there, but looking back: the good outweighs the bad. The wonderful memories are more vivid than the crappy ones. I'm proud of who ...