Inevitably Keely

Dear Zoe, Exactly one year ago your daddy and I were anxiously waiting for your arrival. I was lying on an extremely uncomfortable hospital bed with monitors on my belly to keep track of my contractions and your heartbeat. The contractions were steady and your dad was very helpful in telling me when I was having a contraction since he was watching the tape very, very closely. Your dad, (you’ll learn) has a strong appreciation for graphs and data - the nurses thought he was a hoot and very helpful. I was so glad he was there with me and he knew just what to say to relax me and encourage me. Right about this time a year ago, your Nana K and Grandpa Joe were visiting us in our room. You could tell that they were nervous and excited and anxious for you to make your appearance. Your Nana was also very interested in the season six finale of American Idol and searched our television for her channel so she could see the show. Unfortunately, our remote only had up and down arrows and we had no...

This last week (and especially the last 41 hours) has been physically and emotionally draining. Between finding out we have a new baby on the way, our little girl being sick, me and Daniel being sick, and then losing Evan Saturday night... I'm exhausted. Seeing Zoe's happy little face, focusing on our growing family, the support Daniel and I get from each other and our friends and family is what is getting us through this. My dad put it very well yesterday afternoon when he told me how blessed Daniel and I are to have such strong relationships with our friends and family. He said one of the dangers of having so many amazing people in our lives is that eventually we are going to lose them and that really, we all go before our time. He said what we need to hold on to is the time we did have with our friend and make more memories with the people still with us. Unlike my husband, I didn't get to spend a lot of time with Evan - but I'd looked forward to those camping trips w...

I have always admired Daniel's friendship with "the guys" as I dubbed them. They had a closeness that even though none of them are especially good at picking up the phone or emailing, they picked up where they left off when they saw each other. That bond, (those friendships) was one of the things that made me fall in love with Daniel. And they made me feel welcome and a part of that group right away. First when I met some of them on my first trip to Austin and then when we went to Midland for Daniel and Sarah's wedding. I'd known Evan for less than 24 hours and he was telling me that he loved me and smacking me on the ass. I was slightly overwhelmed then, and then after some explaining from Daniel and just being around him, I came to see that that was his way of bringing me into the group and making me feel welcome. I'd like to believe that smack was his sign of approval. We got some very sad, horrible news today that Evan was in a fatal car accident. We don...

I've been tired lately. Really Tired. Cranky. And I'm going to go ahead and say it... bored with blogging. My heart stopped being in it for a while there. I was feeling restless. I was feeling like there was something off with me and I wasn't sure what... so I decided what I really needed was a break from this blogging commitment. It's been kind of hard for me in the last couple weeks to stay away. Last week we got some news that sort of turned my world upside down. And then Zoe came down with Bronchiolitis, which has been really hard. I kept wanting to turn to my blog to share, but I kept away until today. What I did do is write a letter to my darling monkey. I thought I would share that with you now: Written on Thursday, May 1st, 2008 Dearest Zoe, Today is a very important day for our little family: I took a home pregnancy test and found out that you are going to be a big sister. Your Daddy and I are extremely excited for this new adventure and for what this means for...